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So... I probably won't update for a while.

Because I'm trying to keep myself from any social media for a while.

And here is the reason why.

Somewhere in July, a girl from my school died of a heart attack. She was as old as me (13 / almost 14) and she was my good friend's best friend. Her name was Lara. My good friend's name is Sara.

So, yesterday Sara came back from the hospital (I didn't even know she was in the hospital) and we started talking... I asked her about it, and she said she almost died two times. So I asked her why...

And she just stood there, silent, looking at me sadly.

And I of course, thought of suicide.

Later on, I had math and then biology, I didn't do anything at all. Sometimes I had to look away from my notebook to keep myself from crying. But when the bell rang for a break I stormed out of the class and tried to find Sara.

After a while, my best friends Lana and Nika came over and I couldn't even look at them because I knew I'll just start crying if I do.

They started asking me what's wrong.

And I just broke down crying.

Why?

Because I hate how Sara feels, I know how she feels I know her pain. And I don't want to loose her either.

The thing that bothers me the most, is that I want to help her, I feel like I NEED to help her.

But I don't know how.

After I came back from school, I told what happened to my grandma.

And learned that she tried to slit her wrist too when she was younger. But that's ok, I don't judge because I almost did that too.

So I might not be here for a while. Because I'll try to hang out with Sara as much as I can while she's still here.


~bye-bye 👻

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