MEMEKOOK: A SAGA

the sequel

"hey, kook, let's get fuckin' smashed, yeah?"
"'gyeom, are you legal?"
yugyeom rolled his eyes; a common habit, when it came to jungkook.
"since when do i care?"
jungkook sighed.
"...fair. hit me up with some shots, fam, i'm ready."
"never call me fam ever again, that physically hurt."

•

a few too many shots later, yugyeom felt like he shouldn't have been enjoying the sight of drunk jungkook - memekook was back in full force, and oh boy, was it something.

"did you just try to kiss me?"
jungkook giggled, face still way too close to yugyeom's to be normal.
"no homo, yugyeom-ah, remember?" he leaned in again, and yugyeom had to push him away.

"yoooooooo, is this david attenborough? what a ledge, 10/10, hold up lemme watch this-"
and just like that, jungkook's attention was averted from yugyeom's lips to the large television in their dorm.

"bet you could narrate this better than attenborough, go on."
yugyeom had to stifle a laugh as jungkook gasped, readying himself to bullshit some narration.

he wasn't disappointed - jungkook, in the best british accent he could muster (probably gained from namjoon's shouts of 'shut up, malfoy' when he thought he was home alone) had begun the show with "these some lit-ass plants, innit?"

yugyeom simply grinned, waiting for him to carry on.

"wait up real quick tho," he said as the camera panned back to a venus fly trap, "that one can fuckin' eat you, watch your ass, unless you're into that, i guess."

the television showed a montage of the plants eating their prey, and jungkook shouted "see? they fuckin' lethal, fam, i'm tellin' ya-"
"jungkook, that is a stinging nettle."

he glanced at yugyeom, frowning briefly before blinking at him and correcting himself.

"right, they got bare stingers, yeah? look, they hurt like a bitch, you ever stuck a foot in 'em? bloody fuck, never again." the documentary showed a close-up of how the stingers work, and jungkook's next choice of words was "the sting goes skrrrrrra!"

"jungkook... why?" yugyeom was struggling to speak through his laughter.

"this was your idea, watch how the insides work, it's like a bloodstream but, like, plants don't have blood - unless water is their blood, and they think we're all cannibals?"

"okay, moving on kook, we're underwater now, see?"

jungkook took another shot.
"hell yeah, boi, that's a hella turtle, my guy, that's a faaaaast turtle, wow. but wait, that's.. plant blood?"

"shut the fuck up and enjoy the animals."

"whoa, that's a fuck-off big shark, i'm the most shook right now- and wait! we finna see what they do to each other, right? right, those crabs done screwin' each other, click clack to the bang bang, 'gyeom, fuck yeeeaaaaaah."

"you're getting distracted here, dude, carry on."

"i'm tryna think of a pun for this, hang on..." he paused, face scrunched up in concentration.
"nah, got nothing. but flappy boi do a big flap, you see that? yo, is he gonna fuck the kid, that's pedophilia, c'mon."

"what are we seeing, kook-ah?"

"big flappy boi killed them all, i'm saddened, goodbye, memekook out - wait, namjoon-hyung? that you?"

namjoon stepped into the room, taking in the sight before him.

"hey, yugyeom! you taking care of our kook? nice to see you, seems like you're always here for our drunk child."

"well, we left him with mingyu once, and i don't know if you remember how well that went..."

jungkook chose to pipe up then.
"ah, fam, that was liiiiiit! mingyu-hyung is the fuckin' best, 'gyeom, no offence, wait i fucked up-"

"shut up, kook." namjoon's voice was firm, but held no bite.

"maybe minghao would've been a better choice, though he might've wanted to kill our jungkook by the end of it." he continued, grinning.

"yo, both of them! that's the coolest idea..." jungkook sounded sleepy by now, cuddling into yugyeom's chest with a sigh.

"i'm glad you're here, 'gyeom."

"yeah, okay, don't get all soft, just because the documentary's over and you're tired as shit."

jungkook reached up to place a finger to yugyeom's lips, gently kissing his cheek before laying his head on his chest.

"mmm... no homo, 'gyeom-ah."

"right, memekook, no homo."