"This is really going to kill me, but I need to tell you about Frank. It's your right to know, and I'd feel bad if I kept it from you," I explained, still fidgeting with my hands. "I've known Frank my whole life..." I started, taking a deep breath. "I love him with all of my heart and soul, and everything I have, Johnny."
Tears started rushing from my eyes, like a dam had just burst. He raised my head, wiping away my tears with his soft thumbs. He looked deeply into my eyes, and I could detect he was hurt by what I had just said. "Frank is, well, was, my older brother.... he passed away right before we moved here." I softly mumbled trying to look away, but he wouldn't let me.
\His features softened with pity as he studied me. "I'm so sorry, baby." he murmured, pulling me into his chest, causing me to bawl my eyes out. I was shaking and soaking his shirt with my salty tears of sorrow. "What happened? if you don't mind me asking, of course..."
I nodded in response, I needed to tell him everything. "Earlier this year, Frank was diagnosed with lung cancer. He'd never smoked a cigarette in his life, yet he had to somehow get it," I wiped away a tear. "I was so heartbroken. I didn't know what to do. I sat in my room, numb of everything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk. Then I realized how selfish I was being. My older brother, my everything, was slowly perishing, and I wouldn't even talk to him or spend time with him. I told Frank that we needed to live every day like it was his last, since the doctors said he could just go at any time. We spent every waking minute together. I even made him sleep in my room with me. I was so afraid of losing him. He was the only person who understood me, he understood what I went through because he had gone through it was well. He knew my pain, he knew me inside and out." I sighed. "After about a week, Frank started getting sicker. He couldn't do everyday things, and every day he got increasingly worse. I brought my bed downstairs so we could sleep on it, since he couldn't even make it up the stairs anymore. About two weeks later, he was thirsty, so I went and got him a glass of water. When I came back, his eyes were glazed and his mouth was open. I knew something was wrong. I had dropped the glass and it shattered, I didn't even care. I called the ambulance and they came and got him. I held his hand the whole time, I couldn't let go. He needed to get better. I stayed by his bedside for a week before my dad came and made me eat something and rest. I refused to leave his side. Not now, not ever. He stood by me through everything, and now I needed to stand with him through this. Frank kept telling me everything would be OK, he would smile at me constantly, trying to be reassuring; but I could see it in his eyes. They had grown dull. They weren't the bright grey they used to be. He was skinny and frail, and it hurt so bad." I sighed. "I would have given anything for it to be me in that hospital bed instead of him," I had started to whisper. If I spoke too loudly I wouldn't be able to finish my story. I stared at the wall behind Johnny's head, I couldn't make eye contact with him. "One day, Frank just looked at me and said 'You know you're everything to me, right?' I nodded and gave him a weak smile. 'Good. I love you, Margaret Hazel Kennedy!' he said. I squeezed his hand 'And I love you, Frank Lloyd Kennedy!' He grinned weakly, and with that, his eyes closed and his hand went limp in mine. He knew he was about to die, Johnny, and he made sure that I knew he loved me before he did." I mumbled between my sobs. Johnny pulled me to him and I couldn't control myself anymore, he's the only person that I had told about this. My dad and I were the only ones that knew, but now Johnny did.
"Maggie why haven't you told me sooner, and do any of the guys know? I know you and Jimmy are best friends..." he softly spoke into my ear as he rubbed my back and rocked me.
"I haven't told you because I don't want you treating me like I'm some fragile shell. I want to be treated normally, Johnny. And no. I love Jimmy to death but I haven't told him. I was going to tomorrow-"
