Zinnia's Story

Chapter 1

Zinnia's P.O.V

"Ace please get off me" I cried as my so called mother's dealer slid himself inside of me.

"Shut the fuck up " He groaned

All I can do is plead for him to stop, I learned a long time ago it makes it so much worse if I fight with him. He finally finished after what seemed like forever fixed himself and left out my room.

I laid there stuck , crying, and in excruciating pain in between my legs. By now I thought my body would be used to all the sexual abuse but it's not every time more painful then the last time. I don't understand why I have to go thru this, what have I done so bad to be put through this daily.

After thirty minutes I fought though the tears and pain and got my stuff ready to take a shower. I headed down the hall to the bathroom, I started the water and started to undress. Before I touched the water the tears where back to flowing. I feel so disgusted with myself, I stepped into the shower scrubbed and scrubbed until my skin was sore and raw.

I don't understand why I'm still here, like why am I still walking on this earth, I just want to die I have no purpose to even walk upon this earth. Nobody understands how many times i've tried to commit suicide and failed .

I picked up my razor and removed my blade and ran it across my wrist. The water turned red as it was going down the drain. Cutting myself is the only way to ease the pain, it hurts so bad but feels so good. I turned off the shower got out started to dry off, put my clothes on, and brushed my teeth and headed out the bathroom. As I was heading back to my room I walked past Lucial room only to find her and Ace snorting lines.

She makes me sick, when she don't have the money for her habit which is daily she sells me to the highest bidder. Her own daughter her flesh and blood the one she carried for nine months and pushed out of her it's sick. I made it back to my room locked the door and cried till sleep took over my body.

"Zinnia get up " I opened my eyes only to quickly shut them the sun was shining in my face.

"What Lucial" I Set all the way up in my bed and she was sitting on my bed scratching her matted up hair with some boy behind her.

"Don't answer me like that im your mother" she pointed her hand in my face. I swatted her hand out of my face.

"Yea barely, but what do you want Lucial" I asked

"I need you to do momma a favor " she pleaded rubbing on my hand.
I snatched away feeling the tears start to sting my eyes, she always do this when she need a fix.

What's nastier is the niggas willing to do it just to give her the fix. I shook my head no, I'm so tired of this I'm tired of being forced into giving myself up because she can't get clean. I've been going through all this since i've been twelve years old.

"I took care of you it's time for you to take care of me " she yelled into my face.

I snapped my head toward her like she lost her damn mind. I didn't ask to be be born if it was up to me I would have been dead along time ago.

"I'm not doing it no " I yelled getting up from my bed.

"Yo you said she was okay with it I'm not a rapist " the boy said as he backed out my room. Lucial looked at me with so much hate in her eyes

"You stupid bitch" Lucial barked coming towards me cause me to back up only to be trapped bymy dresser. She started to punch and kick me, I didn't fight back as much as I wanted to I couldn't bring myself to cause part of me was telling me she was still my mother.

" Ma please stop" by this time I was in a ball on the floor covering my head as she continued to punch me.

"I....fucking....hate.....you, You ruined my life I wish your daddy woulda took you when he left" She kicked me one last time and left my room.