Zinnia's Story

Chapter 4

Today was the day the day we lay my best friend to rest. I wasn't up for it I didn't wanna see her in that casket. I went to her viewing bout I couldn't bring myself to walk inside if that place.

If it was up to me I wouldn't go to the funeral but grandma J asked for me to speak. I would rather remember my friend with life not laying down in a casket.

I dragged myself out the bed into the closet to find my outfit, It wasn't really a dress code to follow but granny Jay just asked for everyone not to wear black, black is a depressing color and Kat wasn't a depressing person.

I grabbed my custom made shirt off the hanger. The shirt was made up of pictures of her and I it says "Fly high best friend" With her birthday and her death date under the pictures. Across the back it says"My Sister's Keeper" in bold green letters which is Kat's fav color with a full cut out of her with wings and a halo. I grabbed my white skinny jeans that was hanging up and decided on my all wedges.

I started to get dressed Trice should be here any minute. I pulled my hair up into a tight neat donut bun and did my baby hairs. Today I'm keeping my makeup at a minimum so I just put on mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow. Finishing up I added my lip gloss and a lil more accessories. I headed out my room to the kitchen to get me a lil breakfast snack I couldn't really eat anything heavy.

"Good morning" I turned around at the sound of Lucial voice she was funny dressed. I'm still trying to get used to seeing her like this. " Good morning" I replied plainly taking a bit out of my brown sugar cream cheese bagel.

"You ready" Lucial asked almost causing me to choke like she was going to the funeral.

"Huh" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Are your ready I told Trice I was coming and she told me to meet her at miss Jay's house" She Replied

" I don't think that's a good idea" I told her.

" Look I loved Kat as well, just like she was my own. I'm so so so sorry I let them drugs to do that to me, but you know I loved you and Kat how couldn't I was was here everyday we had our girls day every day y'all helped me cook sunday dinner every sunday how couldn't she was my other daughter. I'm sorry I let those man do those things to you, I am deeply sorry Zinnia I am, I'm changing and I'm really trying to become a better mother to you to repair our relationship. I just need you to forgive me Zinnia I'm trying to be better" She pleaded holding her hands out towards me as tears streamed down her face.

Apart of me wants so bad to forgive her and to believe her but the other part of me just like fuck her. Over all i'm just scared too put my trust back into her I tried twice before and she went back to the drugs.

" I forgive you well I'm trying too it's a process but it's so hard cause I gave you my trust not once but twice and you chose them drugs over me your daughter. You had my trust from the day I came out of you until you let them man start touching on me, Then you apologise me being young and naive I believed you.

You went and got clean for two weeks then you ran back to the streets but this time you actually let these man start to penetrate me take the only thing that kept me pure. You was supposed to love and protect me from men like that but no you watched it happen you bashed , beat , and watch these men rape me. You never protected me I'll be damned if I let you take advantage of me again I'm trying Lucial but this is hard" I said wiping the tears that was threatening to fall.