"Doc, I can't sleep."
Billie rubbed his eyes and shifted in the chair, uncomfortably.
"Chew Valerian root and do exercise." The doctor replied, indifferent.
"I-I- can you just give me something? Please?"
"You wanna see people with pain? Cancer, tuberculosis, tumors, parasites? Come Tuesdays at seven, in the church basement. You'll see people with real problems."
~ small time skip, BTW this is based off of fight club.
The blonde man put on safety gloves.
Mike held his hand out.
"Give me your hand."
Billie did, hesitant.
Mike turned Billie's hand over and gave it a small kiss.
"What's this?" Billie asked, as Mike reached for the white flakes.
"This is lye.."
"-This is a chemical burn."
He then, proceeded to pour the white powder onto Billie's hand.
Billie began screaming, agony and fear in his eyes.
Billie's whole body jolted, trying to escape Mike's firm grasp.
"It will hurt more than you have ever been burned and you will have a scar."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Billie screamed violently.
Billie moved vigorously and he was screaming, trying to stop from feeling the pain.
Mike began.
" Stay with the pain, don’t shut this out. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes, like the first monkey shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing."
Billie didn't acknowledge Mike.
Mike raised his voice.
"Stop it! This is your pain. This is your burning hand its right here!"
Billie began sobbing.
"I’m going to my cave, I’m going to my cave, I’m going to find my power animal." He recited this, multiple times. It was what Chloe talked about in cancer, before she died.
"No! Don’t deal with it the way those dead people do. Come On!"
Billie's hand was searing. He felt the flesh peel back, and saw the small fibers inside.
"I get the point,okay! please?!"
"No, what you’re feeling is premature enlightenment." Mike laughed.
Billie imagined himself in his cave.
"This is the greatest moment of your life, and you’re off somewhere missing it!" Mike snapped Billie back into reality.
"I am not!" Billie cried.
"Shut up. Our fathers were our models for god, if our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about god?"
Billie ignored him, reaching for the sink; for water.
"Listen to me. You can run water over your hand to make it worse, or, look at me."
"-Or, you can use vinegar to neutralize the burn."
"Please let me have it, please!!" Billie was reeling.
"First you have to give up. First you have to know, not fear, know that one day you are going to die."
"You don't know how this feels!!"
Billie screeched angrily.
Mike showed him the scar on his own hand.
"It's only after we lost everything, we're free to do anything."
Billie nodded.
Mike slowly lets go of narrators hand finally where the flesh is melting, fizzling, smoking and burning. Billie stares intently at his hand.
Holding it out in front of himself on his own, feeling it.
Not trying to run from it or trying to minimize the pain somehow.
Mike then reaches for a bottle of vinegar and dumps it on Billie's outreached hand. Billie, with the final relief of the pain clenches his hand towards his chest and drops to the ground.
Mike looks down at him.
"Congratulations, you are now one step closer to hitting rock bottom."
~ I'm kinda jumping around in the story.
Billie took his shirt off, AngelFace was already waiting for him, in the ring.
They circled, and Jared was laughing, taunting Billie.
Billie threw a punch, Angel face retaliated, Billie lost it.
Nothing else mattered.
Angel Face was on the cold, hard, cement floor- blood in his mouth.
Billie struck him, pounding his fists into the latter's face.
Everything was happening in slow motion.
Angel face stopped fighting back, but Billie continued.
Billie, while brutally beating Angel Face's face in, thought-
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.
~
Think I'm done.
