Trains and Tractors

Chapter 2: Noah

I can't believe tonight. It was the perfect time and I chickened out. Madison is going to kick my ass if she ever finds out about this. Flipping the top of the small cardboard box holding what was left of the cigarettes I had purchased earlier this week. My fingers instinctively fished one from within the box and pushed the knob on the cigarette lighter farther into its holder. My thumb tapped the steering wheel anxiously as the metal cylinder heated up. With a loud click, it was ready. I held the glowing piece to the tip of the cigarette in my mouth. Taking a deep breath, smoke filled my lungs. I could hear Andrea's voice in my head, mocking me with the repetitive lecture.

Exhaling, smoke streamed past my lips and tangled with the wind whipping through the cab of my Jeep. Turning off the main road I retraced the route Andrea and I had just come from. I drove straight by my parent's house to the hidden entrance for the pull barn that housed the farm equipment. The gravel path blended with the grass until it disappeared completely. With my foot growing heavier on the accelerator, I took off into the mud and turned the steering wheel. Heading deeper into the field and farther from my house helped to diminish any signs of the real world from my rear view mirror. I took another deep breath of the cigarette while maneuvering through the trees without hesitation. Exhaling another stream of smoke, I slowed my speed. Cutting the engine, the radio turned off and the sound of the trickling creek in front of me became clearer.

Lifting the handle on my left, the back of the seat reclined. Taking another long drag, I closed my eyes and attempted to relax. It was a short lived dream as the phone in my pocket began vibrating and singing. Judging by the song it was Madison. Taking a final drag, I flicked the butt in the direction of the small creek. The phone silenced but started signing almost instantly.

"What?" I snapped as soon as the phone was at my ear.

"I'm guessing the night didn't go well," she said ignoring my harsh tone.

"It didn't go at all, Mads."

"Why not?" She sounded concerned. "There was a plan. What happened to the plan?"

"The plan was crap." I cursed at myself. I shouldn't be taking this out on her.

"That's why there is a plan C," she replied still positive. "And a plan D and E. You just need to step up and do it."

"What happens when we reach plan Z?"

"Then its game over." All positivity left her voice. I grabbed another cigarette from the pack in the cup holder.

"When are you two hanging out next," I asked lighting the new cigarette.

"The day after tomorrow. I supposed to help her move in. Do you want to come with?"

"Maybe." My phone beeped signaling another call. "Hey, Mads. I've got to go, but let me know about when you're going down."

"I think you mean up," she laughed. "Night, Noah."

Pulling my phone from my ear, I looked at the screen. Andrew had called but didn't leave a message. Hitting the callback button the screen shifted and the dialing tone played in my ear.

"Hey, man," Andrew slurred into the phone. "You making a midnight call?"

"Just taking care of business," I said playing along with his joke. Even drunk he was still pretty good to talk with. "Where's the party at?"

"Over on Maple Street. Hurry up, man."

"It sounds very tempting, but I'm all the way across town. Besides, I've got to be up early for work."

"It's the last weekend of summer, Noah, and you're bailing. You're such a buzzkill." He continued to slur insults as I finished my second smoke of the night.

"Hit me up when you're back in town. Okay, man?" With a distraction from the other end he mumbled a sure and hung up the phone. Once again I was greeted by the sounds of the creek and rustling of the tree leaves.

Staring up at the sky, I contemplated plan C. Madison was right. I just needed to say it, put it out there and see what happens. My mother would be ecstatic and my father would be some form of happy. Inhaling one last time I flicked the butt in the same direction as the last one and started up the Jeep. The engine roared to life as I shifted into gear and guided the wheels home. Pressing on the gas pedal, I drove through puddles and old tire tracks that were nearly dry. I pulled up alongside of the house and turned off the engine.

The porch light was shining and voices from the television drifted past the screen door. The booming voices meant two things; ESPN was on and Dad was still up. Preparing myself for a round of twenty questions and an earful, I slipped through the squeaky backdoor.

"Noah?" My father's voice boomed over the television in the living room.

"Yes, Sir," was my only reply as my fingers unlaced my work boots. Pulling my feet free, I ventured farther into the kitchen in search of something to drink. Heavy footfalls meant my father was on the move.

"Where have you been?" His flannel shirt hung open, revealing his stained white tee-shirt. Dirt and grease clung to his worn jeans. His big toe poked through a hole in one of his thick socks.

"Andy and I were hanging out." I snatched a glass from one of the cabinets and walked over to the fridge.

"When does she leave for..." he paused, thinking about the school's name.

"Columbia, Dad. And she leaves tomorrow." The ice clanked against the glass' wall.

"Good for her." He nodded in approval. Here we go. "She's finally getting out of this dead town and doing something with her life."

"Yup." Reaching into the fridge, I grabbed the carton of lemonade.

"You should be doing the same thing," he continued without missing a beat. "You had a great opportunity to play at North Western, but you had to turn it down. I will never understand your way of thinking. I mean, who the hell turns down a Big Ten offer?"

"Only stupid people," I replied. Shots Fired.

"You better wise up, boy." He was getting angry. "You need to have a goal in life something realistic."

"Like the third string kicker? Those are some big dreams I killed." Staring at him over the rim of my glass, I could see his face reddening.

"Tomorrow, you better have a better attitude." Turning his back to me, he stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bedroom he shared with my mother.

"That was rather quick," my mother chimed from the laundry room. She appeared in the doorway holding a wicker basket filled with presumably clean cloths. She was wearing an old Disney shirt and a pair of faded flannel pajama pants. Her hair was held back with a bandanna fashioned into a headband. Swiftly she moved to the table and began sorting through the cloths and folding them. "Is Andy excited for the city life?"

"She seems like it." I joined her at the table. Setting my glass to the side, I picked through the basket looking for socks to match.

"I'm going to miss seeing her around here." The feeling of her eyes didn't go unnoticed. I kept my head down as she continued to speak. "Your father will miss the positive influence she had over you. She knew how to keep you in line."

"That's what you think." I chuckled.

"That's what I know. You did anything she told you to, and don't you dare lie to me." She pointed a finger at me. My eyes finally met hers. A tired smile appeared when she looked into my eyes. Dropping my head again I let out my held breath. "Have you told her how you feel?"

"Nope," I folded the last pair of socks. "And that's okay. The last thing either of us need is a complicated relationship."

"Don't be like that." I looked at her again, lacing my fingers together and resting them on the table. "She'd be happy about it and so would you."

"I'm going to bed." I stood up and left the table.

"Don't let her go, Noah."