"WAKE UP BUTTER CUP!" Yep. Thats how I was woken up the next morning. I groaned and rolled over as SteveO started jumping up and down on my bed. "C'mon, gotta adjust to the time zone! It's noon! You're not allowed to sleep until fourteen hundred again!!! Now wake the fuck up!" His last sentance made me look up at him. I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized my iPod was sitting on the nightstand. He finally stopped jumping and sat next to me, smiling."It's not good to fall asleep wit your headphones in." He winked. I tried to smack him on the arm, but I was just too damn tired that when I tried I almost hit his penis.
"Your voice is pretty!" I complimented sleepily. Maybe if I flattered him he'd give me some more time to sleep. Not that it wasn't true. SteveO had a flawless voice, don't even get me started on his teeth.
"Awee, thanks gurl!" He replied in a girly voice. I smiled and rolled over, snuggling back into the sheets and pillows. "But you're not getting off that easy." I frowned and hid my face in the pillow. "Novak's getting ready to spend the day with Mandy, and the others are at the grocery store. Oh, and Knoxville wanted me to tell you he was getting Oreo's." I sat up so quickly in response.
"He did?" I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped. And I didn't need to, I knew why SteveO came to talk to me, but I decided to pretend that I didn't
"No." SteveO smirked, my face dropped. That would've been cute. No, I would not allow myself to have hopes. Hopes just get torn down. "I just wanted to see how you'd react." Time to act clueless.
"Why?" I asked in the best utterly confused voice I could muster. Apparently I have to work on that.
"You know!" He exclaimed. "Don't act like you don't!" Still, just stared at him as if he was speaking come kind of foregin language. "Okay, guss I have to be direct about this. What's going between you and Knoxville?" He asked bluntly.
"Nothing!" I answered, een though I could feel my face deepen a shade of red. Wait, why was I blushing? There wasn't anything between Johnny and I. Well..No. Nothing. Or at least nothing that would lead to happily ever after, therefore nothing worth spending time on. I decided a long time ago that I was doomed to be a cat lady.
"Mhm. Okay. I'm not blind like all the other fucks appear to be, Haley. I menton Oreo's and Johnny in the same sentance and you smile like you won the fucking lottery!" Of course that made me do exacly what SteveO just predicted I would do. "See? I don't understand what Oreo's is code for, but it seems to mean something to you. And you'v been blushing from the second I mentioned Johnny's name." Of course, I blushed even more. I looked down, blusing and smiling like I was Clifford the Big Red Dog. "Exactly." He concluded.
"I don't like Knoxville. There's nothing going on. Nothing will ever go on between us. I don't like him." I wasn't sure if those words were to argue with SteveO or to save myself. Whoever they were for, neither of thoe people seemed very convinced.
"Why can't you just admit it?" He asked, seeming to be losing is patience with me. "You make it so obvious, might as well just say it." I looked up worriedly.
"I do?" I asked. "I mean, I make it obvious?" That wasn't good.
"Ha! You admit to it." He hollered victoriously. "Maybe I'm the only one who notices it, but personally to me you might as well have 'I'm in love with Johnny Knoxville' stamped across your forehead."
"I do not have a crush on him!" I denied. Why was SteveO trying to make me fess up to having emotions that I forbade myself to have? Couldn't he see that I couldn't like Knoxville?
"Haley, I can read you like a book. Why don't you want to confess? I'm sure he'd fancy you right back, or at least that's how it seems to me. Do you think he's too old for you? Because age is just a number. And I promise you, he won't hurt you." That last one set off the bomb.
