Beautiful Disaster

My Mother

My Mother

When I got home my mom was sitting at the dinning room table sniffling into a tissue. "Gina, are you okay? I heard you passed out at school, come here baby." I answered back "I 'm fine mom, but thanks," of course I was lying to her, i wasn 't fine at all!

I just didn 't want her to worry even more. She must be way more sad than I was, i just don 't see how that is possible.

My parents got divorced 2 years ago, something about cheating and lying. My dad got custody of both me and my little brother. My mom got custody of my older sister, she told me she really wanted custody of all of us.

But since my mother was the one who cheated , the divorce attorney let my dad have custody of two children. I knew I wouldn't see my mom much anymore and that made me sad, but I do love my dad. I wanted him to know that so I didn't fight to have mom take custody of us.

I realized that my plan hurt my mom. It made her feel unwanted, useless!

Ever since they got divorced, we haven 't seen my mom except maybe one time. And now that Landon was gone, she never could get any more time with him. She felt that she needed to spend every precious second with me.

I love my mom and all but she is so fragile right now. I just want to burst into tears and have my mom there to say "It 's okay, he 's in a better place now." But i know i can 't. I have to do this not just for mom, but also for Landon.

He always wanted what was best for our family. I have to remember that, I have to be the brave one right now! It 's just really hard.

I went downstairs for dinner, my dad was making pork and rice. That was Landon's favorite meal. He said "Hey honey," I couldn't handle it I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly.

I replied "I miss him so much dad," with tears running down my cheeks. "I know honey , we all do," it felt so good to cry.

I told dad not to tell my mom because I was trying to be brave for her. He proceeded to tell me "Oh sweetie, you don't have to do that. We have to be brave for you, not the other way around. I just have one question," "What is it?"

He said "Are you going to go to school tomorrow or do you want to stay home?" "I wanna go, I wouldn't want to miss the second day of school. Plus I don't wanna have school work jumbled up."

When I got to school it felt like everyone was looking at me. It was probably because everyone WAS looking at me. A bunch of people came up to me, hugged me, and gave me baked goods.

Zayn walked up to me and said "Hey freshman, sorry bout your little brother," "Thanks sophomore," then the craziest thing happened.

Zayn replied "After school you wanna get a bite to eat and talk?" I was screaming like an eight year old inside, but on the outside I tried to play it cool and say "Sure."

When I got home, I told my mom about Zayn. She said I could go, but she had to help me pick an outfit out. Something was finally taking my mind off Landon, and I really needed it to.