"Hello?" She took a sharp breath. That voice. His voice. A sound she hadn't heard in months is all it took to fly her into an overwhelming state of emotion.
Pause.
"Uh...are you there?" Another breath. Another slice. She missed this voice. Loves it. Hates it. She couldn't think of any- "Aly-"
"No."
"No what?" He was using the annoyed voice now, the one she had gotten accustomed to.
"No...you can't say my name." No, because in that one word everything would be razed to the ground. All the distance, all the walls, all the protections she meticulously crafted would crumble.
"What do you want." It was more of a statement than a question. She could hear his eyes roll as he said it. She winced at the blatant question, biting her tongue to she couldn't give the obvious answer. You.
"Nothing. I-I don't know. I'm sorry." Her voice cracked. Her skin cracked. She winced.
"Then why the hell did you call me?" Why did she call him? She didn't even understand fully herself. Idiot.
"I don't know," she whimpered. Pathetic.
"Look, I really don't have time for this." She wondered what else he would be doing at 12:30 a.m. Wondered if she could do it with him instead of sitting on the cool tile with her back against her exit door.
"You're right, I shouldn't have called. Sorry to bother." Annoying
He sighed, but he didn't hang up. She could hear his breathing. She tried to match it. She wanted to feel it. She began to go numb in her arms and legs, not that there was much feeling to begin with. She followed his breathing. Focused on it.
Breathslashbreathslashbreathslashslashslashsla-
"Alyssa?" Stop. Stop breathing. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Stop. The calm before the storm.
"Alyssa? Are you there?"
"Stop."
"Stop?" Start. Slash after slash until her canvas was painted crimson. Until it all came to a
stop.
