A guide to playing professional males cricket

Welcome to cricket!

Cricket is a sport known all around the world (except for USA where they have a bootleg version of the sport.) It is a sport which is played by all genders and all races in the world. If you are from America and coming to Australia, you must know that no one likes baseball here and that it is all cricket so lose the baseball mitt and bat at the airport. Before you play here you must ask yourself, is cricket different in Australia, Are there different forms of cricket here. All your questions will be answered right here today. 

WARNING 

This document will in no way benefit your cricketing game.

A SHORT WARNING BEFORE WE START READING.

Rashosis or Rash in your legs is a common disease found by male cricketers here in Australia. This disease happens by wearing you box for to long while batting. A way to avoid this disease is to bring baby powder with you in your cricket bag. Right before you start padding up apply 20 shakes of it down your pants. (Notice only works if fielded first and really sweaty.) If you have enough sweat down you pants then the powder should stick on you legs preventing the rash. Glad wrap would also work but it will be a pain while batting. Also make sure to add mosquito protection as they would kill you during the match.

Cricket around the world.

Now that you played cricket in Australia, you will see that not all countries play cricket like Australia. 

India

India does not have backyard cricket like Australia. So they might struggle figuring out the six and out and one hand one bounce rule. Also all Indians play cricket like they are playing for their country so they can be lethal out on the ground. 

England

The English are the ones who created cricket and will boast about how they won the Gillette one day series against Australia. When playing with an English player; always ball yorkers and tell them that Joe root is the worst captain in the world which will make them mad and give you easy wickets.

South Africa

South Africa is one of the best teams in balling and balls extremely fast on all situations. When playing against South Africans duck for cover as they can chop your head off with their deadly bouncers.

America

Americans don't play cricket at all and settle to a more odd version known as baseball. Baseball consists of two teams, bat, ball and Helmet, just like cricket. There are two innings in cricket while there are nine in baseball. Make sure not to start talking about best Shane Warne spins or how good MS Dhoni is at keeping in front of an american because they would just flip you the bird. 

Australian cricket.

Australian is by far the best country at cricket. Australia are currently leading in the Ashes test over England. Australia is also the country to the greatest cricket batsman of all times, Sir Donald Bradman who had an average of 99.4 per game. On Donald's test debut he scored 18 of 40 balls and hit 4 4's that game. Australia is also home to a special type of cricket called backyard cricket. Backyard cricket is played from 2 to 6 players in the backyard. A tennis ball is used and so are one pair of wickets and a rubbish bin. Backyard cricket has it's own set of rules. 

4 balls per over. 

If the ball bounces once and you catch it with one hand it is out. (One hand one bounce.)

 If you hit a six you are out. (Six and out.)

 If you hit it over the fence you have to go get it. 

If the dog gets it you are out.

Training at home

If you are training at home for a match always remember to try and not hit it over the fence. Always aim for the glass. And read a guide to playing playing professional males cricket. 

Tips during a match.

Never mark your crease as you will lose it after one ball.

Always adjust your box as it will annoy you a lot.

Always hit the bat on the floor as it is normal and everyone does it. 

Always try and hit a six. The other team will most likely drop the catch (except if the are Indian.)

Never defend. 

Always sledge during the game as the other team would get pissed.

Always appeal if the ball hits the batsman's legs (even if not on stumps) as the umpire could be an idiot.

So that is it. Always play cricket by following this guide and you will have the best match ever.