How has a hefty weight to it, it might not seem so but it does, you tend to sit and psycho-analyze yourself with how's till your body is sore.
You see you would think as a toddler that I was playing dress up and make believing of a dream wedding. not everything about me was bad, I had some aspects of me there were normal. But not exactly. I spent more time in constant fear than what is considered normal for a toddler.
I knew my memories and dream were tainted, I had a very good understanding that, more so than I probably do now as an adult who has experience much more.
I must've been 3 years old when I moved into my childhood home and not shortly after all of the bad memories that plague me to this day began.
Understanding how young I was is key here, to know a child had a sense of hopelessness and fright will sadden you.
I knew about my own consciousness when I began to ask questions such as "how could this happen?" and or "why would he do this?".. "how could he do this?" - I was just a child but some how I knew what was going on - enough to know it was wrong, but not enough to know how wrong and who was a safe person to run to about it.
My main question I still ask to this day is "how could he just walk freely when I'm trapped"
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I am writing this story in a way that is not too much to swallow as it is grim, bleak, and could re-open wounds for others. But understand that if it weren't me to say it, then who?
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Think of my how like this. How could any of this really be happening to someone who didn't even make it to 5 years before having as much baggage as someone who was the family screw up, a drug addiction, or worse. I became Someone who will later be shamed, and told the most vulgar and derogatory things when opening up to people I felt were safe spaces.
How could people blame an innocent person and call them names that are so sicken you'd want to grab at your throat and rip your vocal cords out due to the pain their hateful words?
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How? How can someone bare to live through any of this?
YOU ARE READING
Don't tell mom
RandomThe story is based on true events rather it's based on real life that has yet to end. In the stories being told you will read about events,personal thoughts,emotions,nightmares,but most of all what really happened to a rape victim that was never h...
