Trying To Forget

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Ali

 

 

We walked along the beach

What a moon lit night

I sat back, my back touching my headboard. I brung my legs up before I wrapped my arms around them.

He held my hands in his

He kissed me,

He said,

"I wanna spend my life with you, I want you for my life"

That's a lie. That's a big lie. They always say that. They always want you to believe that, but then everything burns up in flames. Everything.

Just then I thought

What about the times you lied to me?

What about the times you said no one would want me?

What about all the sh*t you've done to me?

What about that, what about that?

What about the times you yelled at me?

What about the times I cried? You wouldn't even hold me

What about those things?

What about that, what about that?

A tear escaped my eye, staining my right cheek, bringing back memories. Memories of him. I closed my eyes and then everything flashed. Everything for the past year. The memories are too much for me. Everyday, I try. I try to forget about him. I try to forget everything that he's done to me. I try to forget a love that wasn't real.

I took a pause

Then a deep sigh

I, subconsciously, sighed myself.

He looked right into my eyes

As he said;

"I know I didn't say somethin' wrong"

It wasn't your words that hurt me. It was your actions.

I didn't have the courage to say

I can relate. I didn't have the courage either. I couldn't do it. I don't think anyone would, to be honest.

But, then I thought;

What about the times you lied to me?

What about the times you said no one would want me?

What about all the sh*t you've done to me?

What about that, what about that?

What about the times you yelled at me?

What about the times I cried? You wouldn't even hold me

What about those things?

What about that, what about that?

Another tear escaped my eye. Why does this song relate to me like it do? I bowed my head and continued to listen.

What about the times you hit my face?

What about the times you kept on when I said, "No more please"

What about those things?