Fucking 90s · K.C. [ENGLISH VERSION OF "Malditos 90s"]

Fourteenth birthday

February 20, 1993

Kurt turned twenty-six. I had always wanted to live one of his birthdays, I mean, I had always asked myself how he celebrated them and finally I had the opportunity.

In October, a couple of months after I left the hospital and returned to normal life with Alice, he insisted that I go home with him to live permanently. The truth is that since the day I was admitted, Kurt didn't kiss me again and behaved as if he were a friend. Don't get me wrong, Audrey, I don't want to say that I didn't like that, quite the opposite. Having Kurt Cobain as a friend never thought it was so good. He was a person to whom I could tell him anything, that he always listened to me quietly until I finished speaking. Whenever I ventured with him he never interrupted me and always told me the truth and not what I'd like to hear. He was a person with whom you could get drunk and spend the night painting the walls of the room, that he was the first to participate and to encourage you to do it. He was an artist, Audrey. He was a fucking creative person far beyond the world of music.

I'm not going to deny that more than once I had to put up with the urge to kiss him, especially when he finished teaching me a new song just composed and stared at me straight in the eye, or when he cried at night while repeating one and again, it wasn't worth anything because he was unable to stop the drug.

But I trusted him, I was sure he would get it and that's the way it was, at least for a while. By February 93, Kurt had been completely clean for two weeks and the symptoms of withdrawal were gradually disappearing. He was starting to feel more alive and she was proud of him.

- Good Morning! -I shouted at him, who was still sleeping in his double bed.

Even though Kurt and I lived together, each of us slept in a room, but every night we wanted to go into each other's room and hug each other until we fell asleep.

- No. -he growled still with his eyes closed and turning around.

- Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! -I yelled as I shook him.

Kurt gave a small laugh and his smile was visible through his hair, which covered almost the entire face.

Suddenly, he pulled out one of his arms that clung tightly to my waist and pushed me over him.

- Thank you very much. -he whispered.

I removed the strands from his face and he opened his eyes, which shone too brightly. He came over and kissed my cheek.

You're fucking adorable, I thought.

Kurt was still staring at me and suddenly smiled.

- What happen? -I said.

- That I still don't assume how lucky I am.

- Lucky for what?

- For having you.

- Don't say foolishness.

- Narel, it isn't nonsense. You have left everything behind. Your life, technology, everything... And only for me, for coming to save me. It's amazing that someone cares about me that way, you know? It's fucking incredible that... you've given everything for me.

- And I'd do it a thousand times more, Kurt. You're making me live the best of my life. I know life without you, you know, and I didn't like to have only photos, videos and songs of yours that I knew would come one day that there would be no more... And now I have you here, you're in front of me, you are alive and...- I got excited quickly and I started to cry- I'm sorry, I'm very excited about all this, I've dreamed a thousand times with this and I had assumed that I'd never see Nirvana in concert and now I'm not just that, but I have you here with me. Is incredible.

He remained silent and the only thing he did was approach me until our foreheads collided.

- You should never regret kissing me. -I whispered- I also dreamed about that a thousand times.

He smiled just before I fulfilled my dream once more, but this time that kiss was slow, long and intense at the same time.