Holding On| Stucky

Chapter Six

Bucky sat down next to Steve, he put the cup of coffee in Steve's hand then kissed his cheek. Steve shifted his eyes towards Bucky as he slowly re-emerged out of his trance.

"Sorry, when did you go get coffee?"

"About five minutes ago." Buck chuckled, Steve tried to smile back but he felt too out of it.

"That was so...draining," Steve mumbled, he brought the coffee to his lips and took a long sip. He ignored the near scorching heat. Bucky took his hand and wiggled the cup out of it. He took off the lid and began gently blowing on the coffee.

"Sorry, I probably should have let you sleep more last night. I should have known years of bottling things up would..."

"No no, don't blame yourself one bit." Steve scooched closer to Bucky, he could feel his warmth despite the chill in the air. "I just wasn't prepared...I didn't actually think she could get anything out of me." He looked towards the ground, they had left about forty minutes ago but Steve could still remember every word.

"At least she was nice, she knew you didn't want to share much. That's why she didn't ask you as many questions as me." Bucky put the lid back on the coffee and handed it back to Steve. "The only thing that was weird, is that she gave us homework. I feel like a little kid," He chuckled.

"I can at least understand the homework. We really do need hobbies."

"Can't my hobby be loving my boyfriend?" Bucky put an arm around Steve's waist, he pressed his lips to the sides of Steve's cheek lingering there for an excess amount of time. Steve was close to giggles by the time Bucky decided to bring his lips away.

"Wasn't that one of our problems? Something about we only navigate the world through each other, and how too much of each other can lead to stressors..." Steve looked at Bucky with raised eyebrows, and Bucky looked back a smile on his face.

"It sounds like you just quoted her, did you?" Steve shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, it was much cooler the perfect temperature.

"Maybe, maybe not." He said coyly, he rested his head on Bucky's shoulder and let out a sigh. "The way she explained it I can understand why you got so snappy with me. You wanted to focus on work, and other things and all I wanted was to take up your time. And I wanted to constantly talk to you, I asked you all the questions I had, you always came out with me when I went places, I barely gave you a break." Steve's voice and tone declined as his list went on, the same guilt he felt when the therapist explained it had resurfaced.

"Hey hey now, don't make it sound that I didn't love every second of that time spent with you. I was the asshole okay? I didn't communicate with you enough and upset you constantly, I held it in, I tried to handle it on my own, and took it out on you."

"Don't put all the blame on yourself, Buck, I should have picked up on social cues. I got caught up in...me, and...the lack of work. And...the shield. I ignored what was good for us because I was obsessed with being a hero." Bucky used his metal hand to lift Steve's chin, he pecked his lips and looked into his eyes.

"We both fucked up somehow right? But I always knew I could be an ass, but this is the first time that you've actually admitted that being Captain America, really was becoming an obsession. You know what that's called?"

"What?" Steve asked he felt heat pulsing from his cheeks. He was so close to Bucky that his lips felt like they were being pulled towards him.

"Progress." He reached in front of Steve and snatched his coffee. He moved away from Steve's face and took a long sip. Steve scoffed and reached for it.