I was a block away from HQ until I heard an unusual pattern of footsteps behind me, I turned to see Winston running after me. I stood in the middle of the sidewalk and waited for him to catch up. He stopped and leaned down to catch his breath while reaching in his back pocket for a pack of cigarettes.
"Winston, what do you want. I told everyone I quit."
Winston lit the cigarette and took a long drag,
"Egon and Ray are fighting... breaking things, screaming at each other... Peter and I tried to break them up... but... goddamn Egon is really strong."
I thought about it... they are fighting because of the test. But it didn't phase me all that much. I did want to see them turn on each other, they had what was coming to them...
"Let's go back... I wanna see this, I also don't want them to kill each other because of their own dumb decisions."We got to the base of the steps and I could hear things breaking, Egon and Ray yelling. Peter stepped outside and saw me. He looked like he was attacked by a bear. He looked up at me and disappointment was wiped over his face.
"Before you go back in there, you should probably know this test turned into something they didn't intend."Peter took a cigarette Winston offered him and lit it. I looked at him in confusion as he lit the cigarette with ease.
"Uh, what do you mean Peter. They put my sex life in that paper with the intentions of selling it. None of what I had with Egon was real."
"Ah, but thats exactly where you are wrong. At FIRST it was just an experiment. It became real, Charlotte. You CHANGED Egon. The day in your apartment when he almost died for you, thats when he realized. And in the process you made Ray fall for you. Poor bastards. They got what was coming to them, but they really feel awful. They both care about you. But Egon and Ray would literally kill for you. And sooner or later they might kill each other."
I stood in awe, trying to process the whole situation. I changed the two men that wanted to sell my romantic life and mannerisms as a science experiment. I didn't know if I should forgive them. Honestly, in the moment I just wanted to get them to stop fighting.
I walk past Peter and place a kiss on his cheek. I put my hand over the frosted door handle. As I flinch to the sound of breaking glass, I open the door slowly. The noises were no longer muffled by the closed door and I could hear the entire argument."This is all your fault!"
"MY fault?! This was YOUR idea!"
"I tried to be a good person but you decided to keep going with it! You wanted to back me into a corner with this experiment! You wanted her for yourself!"
"She'd never want you anyway you curly haired fuck! You're selfish!"
"Your MOTHER!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE-"I heard more rustling in the living room. I didn't know how to approach the situation, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Janine at my side with a concerned look.
"They've been going at it for a while. I can't stop them. They'll destroy the place and I'm not paying any hospital bills.
"How do I stop them?!"
"Trust me, they will stop for you."
She stepped into the doorway of the living room and shouted-
"HEY, ASSHOLES! Someone is here to see you."
I heard a voice that sounded like Ray call out from the living room.
"Who the fuck would make us stop fighting now?!"
Janine looked over to me, I stepped in the doorway and peered in...
Everything I did. My decorations were ripped off the walls, the tree was tipped, the ornaments were smashed, the coffee table was now just a pile of glass, the tv was screen-down on the floor. I look over to Ray and Egon. Egon was in the process of choking Ray, while Ray was trying to gouge Egon's eyes out. They were both frozen. Everything was silent. I made eye contact with Egon and felt a tear escape my eye. They released each other from their unique restraints and had pained looks on their faces. Both of their faces were beaten bloody. I motioned them to follow me into the room we use for checkups and experimenting on chimps. I was going to clean them up. One by one. And they were going to have to deal with it and own up to their mistakes. I pulled Ray in first because I wanted to spend as much time away from Egon as I could, but primarily because I wanted him to wait the maximum amount before he could explain himself. And he would need to tread very lightly with that.
YOU ARE READING
The Affection Test.
FanfictionMy deepest condolences go to the Ramis family. This story is not about Harold Ramis, but the character he played in Ghostbusters 1&2, Egon Spengler. Charlotte Stevens takes up a receptionist job for the Ghostbusters. She doesn't think much of it, u...