Lowkey [Loki FanFic]

Death Wish

I woke up today and wished for tomorrow. I don't want to be anything but myself, so why is it so hard? But now I know I don't want to even be myself. Thor hates me. It seems like that was the way to make the tiny satisfaction disappear. Nothing goes my way, I can't have any happiness anymore can I? At least my death wish will come true.... This is not life is it? No ones life could be this horrible. No, it's before life. Before you are born. Once I die, I'll be really born, somewhere else. I won't be some weird Frost Giant creature. I'll be human, on Earth. So, all together I'll live here, die, live on Earth as a mortal, die, and then go to heaven and stay there. It will be perfect. I just wish it would happen sooner... I smiled.

"Can live with this a little longer, can't I?" I thought as I got dressed and combed my hair. "I shouldn't have to die by my own hands." I walked out of my room and into the hallway.

"Screw Thor! I can have a perfect before-life without him! I might as well have fun and make my 'parents' of this world happy." I felt a sense of happiness and freedom. "I can do this!" I smiled happily. Who knew I would be happy after my brother tried to kill me. I walked to the door of the dining table. Most Demigods were there already. I kept smiling as I sat by my mother. "Good morning mother." I said politely. "Well good morning to you too!" Mother said happily. "I was afraid you wouldn't come! You're awfully cheery today!"

I turned to Thor who was talking and laughing with my friends. I tried not to be angry, but I could feel my soul filling with hate. "How could he act like nothing happened?! Is that his evil plan!?! Trick me and kill me once I-" I realized something. If he kills me, I'll be over. I'll be free and never see any of these god forsaken people ever again! "If I act like I love and trust him... He'll think he's fooled me, and it will all be over and done with!" I was happy with my plan. I was sure it would take Thor a while to make sure I trusted him, but that was ok. I could stand this place a little while longer.

"Good morning father." I said as I turned to Odin. "Why good morning Loki. What has you in high spirits today?" Odin asked. "I think I had a bit of a cold bug, so I was feeling a bit down, but I'm better now." I lied. I was feeling better, but I was not sick recently. "That is good to hear my son." Odin said. I started to eat and watch my brother. He hadn't even acknowledged me. That happened about every morning. Soon most people were done eating. I sat up and excused myself from the table. I then walked out of the dining room and into the great halls.