Untrustworthy

《I.》

I had never imagined that life would drastically change for me one day. It was always assumed that I would find my mate in my pack and life would happily go on as usual. Looking back, I can see how naïve I was, how air-headed and trusting. The world seemed so perfect for me then, but it wasn't really. I had just been sheltered. Now that I know, I wouldn't change a thing and I much rather prefer my chaotic lifestyle that I've adapted to now. I won't ever forget the journey I've had to take so far, and I'll never forget the day it started. 

Thinking, I had been thinking.

I was uncomfortable, on edge. I took another step and heard a squishing sound beneath my boot. Looking down I saw blood seeping from the earth. When I looked back up I saw the seemingly never ending piles of bodies. I screamed.

Blood, blood, blood. There had been bodies everywhere and no one saved them. I didn't save them and it drove me crazy. When I was a child, there was the Great War in which two packs fought to destroy one another. My father did not participate in the war because he wanted our pack to stay out of it. He did, however, go and see the aftermath. I don't remember how I managed to tag along, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. It was something that a young child should never see.

Bodies had been strewn everywhere. Some were in human form, and others remained the wolf form. It was always said that dying in our wolf form was best. The ground was covered in blood and a sickening smell of rotting flesh and decay had constantly invaded my senses. I had tried to hold back my tears, but it was hard to do as a young child. My father originally had no intentions of letting me see the disaster, but in the end, he could not stop me from seeing the horrors and ended up using it as a lesson instead.

I would never forget the cries of grown men as they called for help. My father helped them. He ensured that they were quickly killed so they would no longer have to endure suffering. At the time, I didn't understand why he was so cruel, but later I learned that he was simply doing them a favor. The men weren't his. Two opposing packs had gone to war and my father simply helped clean up the mess. That was our way. Our pack of Southern had always prided itself in being the most peaceful pack out of the four that exist.

I had hardly met any wolves outside of our pack. It was uncommon for us to associate with others because we didn't need to. As the Southern wolves, we lived where it was warm. Meadows as far as your eye could see and fresh water rivers everywhere made it so that life thrived in our area of the Earth. Deaths were usually from old age, but sometimes someone would die in some unfortunate way. This was how it was with the Eastern Wolves as well. The Eastern wolves were similar to Southern wolves in their way of living. As for the Western and Northern wolves, they were similar in their ways of living. Their lives and ways were harsher than ours, however Northern was the most independent of the four packs when it came to how they lived life. I never realized how different it was until I came to experience it for myself.

***

The day was warm, full of energy. Our hunters had just come back from a long and successful trip. They had managed to secure hundreds of deer, rabbits, elk, and some various fowl. Everyone in the pack was excited; successful trips meant the other packs, especially the northern ones, weren't hunting for food from our lands. My father was always lenient when it came to other packs hunting on our lands, because he understood that getting food for the Western and Northern wolves was harder.

Even though this was the case, food had even been somewhat scarce for us as well in the Southern lands. Most of the pack thought it was because the Northern wolves had been hunting without permission or hesitation. To ease the pack's unrest, my father dismissed it, simply saying that he would send out a message to the Northern wolves notifying them to ease up. This seemed to appease the pack, and ever since my father sent out word the amount of wildlife in the Southern lands had increased.