Everything around me stood bleak beneath the pitch black night. Even the moon that washed the whole town in its pale glow seemed to illuminate the townspeople's faces with a sickening shade of yellow. The rowdy market booths had long gone shut down their shutters and the owners had retired for the night. But wandering around the empty streets did nothing to ease the weight in my battered heart.
Or in the left pocket of my coat.
My cold-numbed hand slipped into the squared fabric at my side and felt the icy, metallic object inside. It was a reminder that inflamed red hatred before my eyes and shook my entire body with rage.
I'll kill you.
I'll make you wish never to have been born, Jin.
I remembered the first day I set foot in the castle after being summoned personally by the King to be presented as the official royal joker.
Jin.
And I remembered the way his face lit up with joy after I'd bowed at the end of every performance. The times I'd flaunted my tricks before him and earned cheers and laughter.
Jin.
The years I'd lived within the same walls as the man who'd murdered my very own family.
Jin.
Jin.
Jin.
"Argh!" The trash can in front of me flew and banged against a building's wall, then rolled back to the foot that kicked it.
Shaking the pain away from my toes, I looked up at the crown of the castle peeking behind the buildings. It was a scene that I had kept my eye on since the sun had risen that day, yet couldn't bring myself to approach it any further. For I was frightened by what I could do if I set foot inside that cursed castle once again.
But then, as the night grew colder and darker, I started to feel it's cold darkness seep into me.
I'll kill you.
I was startled when a single, icy cold teardrop slid down the side of my face. I'll avenge the death of my family. My mother who's farewell tears were the last I saw of her before leaving for boarding school. Nae Il and Nae Ra, my sisters, who never seemed to get tired of writing me endless letters despite the little note at the end always insisting that they didn't miss me one bit.
And my father.
The tears that once smeared my flushed face as he scolded me for not toughening up and instead of cowering behind my mother every time I made a mistake, now blurred my vision yet again as I recalled his coal-smeared face every night he'd returned from work.
The crunch of the rough gravel beneath my feet ceased as I set foot on the smoothed, paved trail leading towards the royal castle gates. Those doors had once led me to a place I had woken up at to practice every day, had my meals and slept with ease. It now felt like a pile of bricks I wished to send down into fiery dust.
Joon and Yeol still stood guard in front of the gates as always, and I knew there was no way around getting past these doors unnoticed. So I followed the all too familiar path alongside the towering metal fence. Keep your left shoulder against the fence and walk until you reach the blue flag tied around one of the bars, then count: one, two and three other bars, then if you lean forward and nudge the lower part of the fourth and fifth bars, you've got your secret entrance. It had been useful on days I'd stayed out too long. I'd been caught one night by Jin who was wandering around the garden, but he'd simply laughed it off and ushered for me to be on my way. Little did he know that he'd regret his ignorance one day.
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The Seven Wonders of My Life (BTS) ✔
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