Transgender

How I Knew

I knew I was different since I was at least 10 I would say. I felt more manly, I didn't really fit in with other girls, and so I just kind of was the emo, always in baggy sweaters. I never really noticed my true feelings until my cousin came out to me at the age of 12 I would think. It kind of made me question myself in a way and since that day I would look in the mirror and just cringe. 

I still cringe at my body. But the main reason I cringe is because no one knows except for my partner, and maybe some other people. That's what really hurts. In the past once my cousin told me, I kind of thought about myself from then on and became angrier because I didn't know what was happening. I'm still an angry person to this day even. I would go through name phases, I used to want to be called Jamie Lee, then it went to Miles, but now I would like to say I've taken a liking to Eliot, and I want to keep it that way. I became more and more aware of it through the years to, it even became obvious with my deeper tone of voice i started using when I was 13, and the baggier clothes. I would even put a piece of clothing at my crotch to make it look like I have a dick.

It made me feel like myself. I went through a phase were I thought I was both female and male because I started wearing both feminine and masculine clothes, but then I recently discovered that I was just a male who loves to wear females clothes, which even as I'm writing this I'm in a skirt and a pink J-Hope sweater, well, I was, that's me down below! 

I do look quite masculine, subtract the skirt, which I just bought by the way...

Anyways, I tended to wear hats, sweats, and oversized hoodies, if I felt good enough, I would go in tight tank tops, that did nothing because of my overgrown moobs. 

So, that's kind of a story of how I discovered me, tune in next chapter for "Who is Me?"!