Transgender

Dealing with Depression

Yes, of course a chapter like this was going to pop up.

But I would like to give a fair warning, It does mention cutting, thoughts, and I do mention the mental abuse I put on myself, please read with caution.

Alright, so when I started having my depression was in grade 6 I would like to say? I'm pretty sure that was the year were I started cutting to. That was also the year I was unbearably grossed out with my body. Where I cut was the traditional place, arms, and it was sideways. It was more of a cry for help when I think about it. 

It hurt so good.

It always has.

But what can I say? Cutting is kind of an escape from the mental pain I put myself through, and it still works to this day. How do I know? Well, I did it again recently when I broke down sobbing at my body. I took a bath that night, which I should have never done, I should never take baths if I don't want to be depressed, or make it worse in that case. Rule number one of baths, NEVER look down if you are in the mood to break down, because that is the first mistake I made, and I kind of just sat there sad.

There's a lot more, but I don't have the right words. 

The next thing, don't make my mistake and cut yourself like recently, NEVER cut yourself. That is not the way to go. Even if you think that's the only way. People will only see you as attention seekers, which fucking sucks. 

How am I dealing with depression? Not to well, so far in the past week I cried myself to sleep, cut myself, and mentally brought myself down. My advice to you is to look for tips online, find someone that you can trust and rant. Don't be afraid to ask them if they could call you He/She! Say the name you want to go by, and give gentle reminders for a week! After a week, they should know by now, so if they call you she/he, just remind them again gently! 

Being transgender is a single word to explain someone's feelings, a specific feeling that expresses a lot of people. 

Tune in for the next chapter, "Lgbtq+ Fighting!"