Prophecy: Tome of Heart

12. Metamorphosis

Austin paused outside of the motel room door, wondering what kind of reaction he would receive upon knocking. It had been a couple of weeks since Myrna's shop had burned down, and he hadn't seen a whole lot of her since then. None of them really had. Not that it was their only concern. In fact, things were looking bleak all the way around-Percy had been missing, they had no idea what was going on with Qui'hara, and the demon problem was only getting worse. There were plenty of things to divide their attention, but right then he wanted to focus on Myrna.

"What do you want?" She didn't seem to care about his dedication to checking up on her, and she blocked the doorway in a clear effort to keep him out.

"I thought maybe we could do some magic lessons." He smiled after a second, trying to pretend like everything was normal. "I've still been training with Cliff, but it hasn't been the same without you."

"He can teach you more than I can." Her dismissal continued. "I'm not in the mood."

"Come on, I miss you." When it became evident that he wouldn't be able to play it off, he switched to being honest with her. "We're supposed to be best friends, but you won't talk to me. I'm not here to point fingers or anything, I swear, I'm just worried about you."

"Don't be. I'm doing better now than I've ever been." Myrna showed no signs of her former self, but it went both ways and she couldn't convince him.

"You don't have to pretend, not here. Not for me. I know what you went through, I get it." Austin shook his head, looking away for a second.

"Maybe you think you do, but you said you don't remember a thing about it. Everything went black for you and then you woke up a year later. You missed a lot in that time, and I'm not saying that wasn't hard for you, but it's nothing like what happened to me. You don't get it." She was quick to shut him down, and even quicker to shut the door.

"But I do." He slid his arm across the threshold, blocking her attempts to close him out. It had never been something he planned to reveal, but he knew he should now, if only because it might mean something to her. "I lied. I told you guys that I didn't remember any of it, because I thought it would be better that way. I didn't want you to have to worry about me, like we're worrying about you. I didn't want to be treated different, and I know Toby couldn't take it if he knew. He would hate to think that I saw what became of him. But I remember everything, from the second Byrenion took control of my body to the moment he gave it up."

"You're lying." She didn't believe him, and instead she thought it was a ploy to gain her trust.

"We don't get to go back. We don't get to leave anything behind." He countered quickly, saying things he knew she would understand. Just as he thought, she stared at him quietly, wondering. "That was what Byrenion said to you after you came back-after you were released from Andreegys' control. I was there. I was also there when Lorelei said those same words to him, when he held onto her and watched her die. So please, don't tell me that I'm lying because those are the memories that I have to live with."

"Even if you're telling the truth, it doesn't matter." Myrna averted her eyes, quiet as her voice quivered. "Then you should know what it's like to live with that. That's exactly right, we don't get to go back, and that girl you all want me to be is gone. She was Andreegys' last victim."

"I know." Austin admitted, causing her to see him differently than she had before. Everyone else had been denying for so long what she kept screaming-that she was forever changed. But to hear him acknowledge it made her feel a little lighter. Only a little. "We don't get to be the same, but that doesn't mean they have to win. Going forward, you get to decide what you will become, and you can decide to become something good. I gave up fighting because I've seen too much pain over these years. I've caused a lot of it too. Learning to be a demon doctor, learning all I can about helping people and healing them, is how I can begin to make up for that. That's what I choose. You get a choice too."