{Just an FYI all names are changed} so to start from the very beginning of my past I definitely know has not been the worst but definitely not the best, so let's go way back, to kindergarten. I was just an average little Hispanic girl with long dark hair and nothing more but to want to do good in school. I was the new kid to this Christian Catholic school. I was also the Hispanic chubby child being half Puerto Rican and Half Mexican I always had good food all the time I was never starving which is truly a blessing in itself. I have always loved school I loved learning new things everyday but the boys and girls at this particular school tortured, teased, humiliated, and made me want to die every single day. They would pull on my braids, hit me with my own braids, hit me with lunchboxes and plastic bats, they would throw soccer balls or kickballs at me, trip me on the daily. Then they would make fun of me by calling me names like fat, ugly, Diablo (Spanish for devil), i was also made fun of because of my ethnicity I was constantly told that I wasn't real because Puerto Rico wasn't real and no one cared about Puerto Rican's. This teasing and traumatic bullying happened for 9 straight years of my life. From the start of kindergarten to the end of 8th grade. Now I know what your thinking why wouldn't you go to the principals office or tell a teacher, I did almost weekly every year for those 9 years of being at that terrible school. No one cared though, it was the concern of one child versus 22 other kids. My classmates remained the same throughout almost all 9 years very few people left and very few came. So even if I wanted to just walk away from these kids there was no one else I knew no one else to hang out with, no one else who cared. My parents knew I hated this school and the school hated me just as much but no one ever helped me, so I was pretty much isolated. 7th and 8th grade were the absolute fucking worst in 7th grade one day I just showed up with the right side of my hair shaved off. I just felt like I needed change but of course I was called down to the office I was told that I was "playing the wrong gender role and that I must switch my hairstyle or leave school." Of course the school made me change my hairstyle and then I was seen as a freak at this school but that was just the start of the downward spiral of life. Between the 7th and 8th grade year during summer I was sexually assaulted by a boy that to this day still lives in the house right behind mine. To this day I get flashbacks of what happened and I am extremely uncomfortable with people grabbing my wrist because of what happened that day. ( I prefer not getting into too much detail but flash forward to about 8 months ago my boyfriend tells my family and no one believes me or him and nothing is done about my assaulter, flash back ). 9th grade now I finally leave that terrible Christian Catholic school and I take my first step into a public school. The most amazing start of a new chapter in my life. It was the first time I made new friends and the first time I was in a public school it was a whirlwind of emotions. I finish first semester with new friends like Thor and Joy. I finally think life is going good. But things just snapped I got hospitalized for attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, and self harm 1/18/17 was stuck there for a little over a week Thor called me a few times as I was in the hospital my mom refused to see me because she thought I was jokingly saying I was hospitalized my dad couldn't see me cause he was on a trip to Texas and this week was one of the most suicidal weeks I have had in my life then just as Second semester starts I'm feeling a bit better it's now about February and my friend Leo was trying to set up this wonderful guy named Romeo with this crazy girl named Tori. Romeo and Tori hung out once and immediately Romeo knew Tori was not the kind of girl he wanted to be with, we move on to about the start of March 2017 and I start talking to Romeo immediately sparks are flying I have only talked to him for a few days and it seemed like I knew him for years, we connected emotionally and mentally and we both had been looking for a long term relationship his heart, mind, and body is so Perfect! I just can not explain it I just instantly connected with him <333.... To be continued with the next part of my life soon. I may even start writing after I post this not too sure yet.... 1/26/18. 2:05am
