They day after. 3/16/17. I woke up from being on the phone with Romeo last night and I thought everything was a dream. I thought that I was just imagining what it would be like to be with him. I was never able to see myself having a real boyfriend that would be able to see me everyday that actually cared about me. I was in such a great state of depression before I met him, I didn't care how I looked, how I acted the way I smelt I didn't comb my hair before but as I sat up to get out of bed I smelt this amazing smell on my shirt. It was him. From hugging me. From being so close to me. It was the most amazing realization I have had in my life. I actually had a boyfriend a real boyfriend that actually asked me out and hugged me and was able to hold my hand. I never thought this would happen. I have only had bad online relationships with people prior to this, they never lasted too long. Well besides the last relationship I got out of 2 months prior to this relationship. My last online relationship lasted 13 months he came to see me for our 9 months and he took me to my first homecoming school dance. It was great and all but those relationship never felt like how I am feeling now those relationship never felt right. Those online relationship they were the only thing that made me feel even slightly important even if the relationship lasted a month. I was just so alone at the time I didn't know who else to talk to so I started meeting people online. After my online relationship ended 15 days later my depression got to me so badly i wanted to kill myself so I planned it all out. I knew how I was going to do it and everything so I figured I only had a few days to live before taking my own life and I for some dumb reason did something extremely stupid because I wanted a life experience and I hooked up with someone I didn't even know too well. I regretted that decision more than anything and I still do. I was then hospitalized just a day later. As I was in the hospital no one really cared Thor called me a few times my mom thought I was having a long, week long, sleepover. I told her I wouldn't see her for awhile and that I was being hospitalized but she didn't believe me she never believes me about anything but the day before I was released she came to see me during visiting hours. My dad saw me the same day but he left for a trip to Texas the same day I was hospitalized so I must have not been that important to him. I was finally released and I was alone for 2 months not having anyone to talk to. yeah my friends checked in on me but things were different I was significantly more depressed then before and then I met him. I met Romeo. Romeo was literally the only person that could make me happy. No matter how depressed I was feeling. He was the start to my New chapter. He was the person to change my life for the better. I can't wait to write about how my new chapter began. 1/26/18 10:29 am
