"Heck, if someone said "hello" to me or even smiled at me. I will think about them for months and maybe even imagine a life with them."
~~~
An eventful night where a hero saved you.
I flinch as I suddenly feel Ximena behind me. I breathe out as I pause the mic drop music video.
"Jesus. When did you get home?" I change the subject.
"Just now but you were to busy watching bts' new music video. How is their comeback?"
I smile. Ximena isn't much of a fan but she knows about them very well. I constantly talked about them. Talked. Past tense. I clench my jaw. Ximena furrows her eyebrows.
"What is it? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
She gives me a look and I roll my eyes.
"We haven't talked for a month now which is not normal for us. He would at least text me Hi or a quick video call. But zero. Nada."
Ximena points to jungkook in the paused shot. I nod. He looks so good. He's a stunning man.
"I know what I was getting into but it's hard now that I'm here. We were not dating. We were just internet friends so I'm in no place to get mad at him. What kind of person would I be if I did?" I look down at my feet. I feel like an idiot.
"A normal one. You're allowed to have actual feelings for him."
"I do not have actual feelings for him." I interrupt her.
"He is your friend [y/n]. It's okay to feel like this and admit it. You know that you are really strong, right?"
"I am?" I look up at Ximena.
"Yes. You are. This guy was lucky to have met you."
"I was the one that was lucky." I interrupt her again.
"Don't think of him as the bts member [y/n]! think of him as any other guy that you met a bar." Ximena rubs my back and the tears are threatening to come out.
"Awe, sweetheart." she pulls me into a hug. I give in.
"It's going to be okay and before you know it, you will move on."
"Move on from jungkook? As if." I mumble. I pull away.
"It's better this way. bts is changing music history and it's better for jungkook to be there 101 percent." I wipe my tears away. "It's the 'could've been' what hurts the most."
She grabs a hold of my hand. Even though my body feels achy and my heart actually hurts, to have someone here with me, its comforting.
"It was probably just me but I actually felt like there was a slight possibility that he would like me. Clearly, I was starting to have feelings for him. I tried to hide my emotions and I felt like he was too. To avoid situations like the one we're in." I pause and get a hold of myself. "We were trying to pretend like there was nothing there." I look up to Ximena for some more comfort. She barely smiles and pulls me into another hug.
"We should have never gone to the bar." I breathe out. "We should have stayed home and I would never have met Jungkook. I would have avoided all this... Suffering."
"Okay, let's get you to bed." Ximena pulls me up with her. I nod. "let's sleep it off." I follow her down to my room. I quickly lay in bed. Something lingers in my thoughts. I originally went to the bar to drink away my suffering away and now I'm here. It's so ironic that I chuckle. The sound of Ximena turning on the lighter brings me back. She lights my candle. Right after, she turns on the speaker and connects my phone.She's most likely playing one of her playlists.
"Nothing music and sleep can't fix," she says as she turns the volume done. "Alright, sleep tight."
~
♪ It feels like there's oceans Between me and you once again We hide our emotions Under the surface and tryin' to pretend But it feels like there's oceans Between you and me ♪
I shift over to my other side facing the speaker.The clock reads 1:34 am. I rest on my back, taking in the dark room.
♪ I want you And I always will I wish I was worth But I know what you deserve You know I'd rather drown Than to go on without you But you're pulling me down
It feels like there's oceans Between you and me once again♪
~
The very next day when [y/n] had woken up, a tweet captured her attention. A tweet that Jungkook posted. His tweet contained a screenshot of the song he was listening to. That song was Oceans by Seafret
~~~
This could have ended better! I know. But life isn't all about happy endings :(
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It's still a trash ending tho. Jungkook and Mc were supposed to have a deeper relationship (which I could have written better and more of) so that this ending COULD HAVE IMPACTED YOU THE WAY I WANTED IT TO! But the important thing is that i finished and i can work on my other stuff. I will work harder and better.
