C R A C K // H.S AU

Chapter One

HARRY.

My hands trembled as the glass of milk that was held ever so tightly in my palms slipped, smashing into shards at my feet. "Harry? What did you do now?" As I stared down at the puddle of milk and glass below me I couldn't think straight. "I saw him." I quietly whispered knowing full well that she was fed up with me. "What was that?" She asked before letting out a heavy sigh. I watched her as she rolled her eyes and bent down, picking up the shards of glass one by one. "Harry, it's almost been a month, he's dead! We both know it's the truth. Please stop this, it's disrespectful." She said, her voice harsh and practically emotionless. She never really believed me, she thought I was lying; doing it for the attention.

Every particle in my body screamed at me to just apologise, move past it but something inside of me snapped. As she picked up the last shard of glass and stood up I couldn't stop myself. "But I'm not lying! I saw him! Right over there!" I pleaded, pointing towards our kitchen table. "He was right there..." I whispered, falling into a pit of self-doubt. Did I actually see him? Or was I hallucinating? Part of me wanted to believe she was right, that I was seeing things, that I was normal... but deep down I knew I was right. He was there.

I watched her from my place in front of the fridge as she ignored me and walked towards the bin, dusting the shards of glass off of her hands. "Why do you keep doing things like this Harry?" Her voice was high pitched, making her sound a little desperate but that was something I would've thought if I couldn't see her eyes and how broken they were. The usual bright blue had coasted a storm and a dark grey frosted her eyes. "I'm tired Harry, I'm so so tired of just putting up with everything. I've tried, god knows I've tried but I just... can't." I knew by 'everything' she meant me. I was the problem.

"Where is this coming from?" I took a step forward in an attempt to feel the warmth of her face against the palm of my hands but almost in time, she stepped back. When she didn't answer I felt my tongue roll up in the base of my throat and I bit my lip as I felt the familiar feeling of tears welling up in my eyes. The feeling caught me slightly off guard as I did everything in my power to control them. "You mean me. You're tired of me and my everything." She didn't even flinch. Her eyes didn't move, her jaw didn't drop; she just didn't care anymore.

"I'm not going to lie to you Harry. I can't handle the baggage that you carry, it's become too much for me. I love you, I really fucking love you but you have to understand. I will always love you but I have to go." At the sound of the honesty in her words I found myself a little taken back. I warned her when we met, no one can truely love me, I'm too broken.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me." I whispered, my breath hitched in my throats and my bottom lip trembling with every word. The air in the room was sucked away,taking what was left in my lungs with it. Her hair fell perfectly over her slumped shoulders as she bent over to pick up her suitcase. I could tell she hadn't packed all of her stuff but she had taken enough. She might not have taken everything that was hers but she was taking mine; she was my everything.

Breathe. I couldn't manage to breathe. Something thin and long caught my eye as I'd draped out of one of her palms. "What's that?" I abruptly asked, suddenly all of all the air had returned to my lungs and I was able to speak. My eyes followed hers as they left mine and focused on the paper in her hand. "It's for you." She paused, reaching her arm out to give it to me.  Cautiously I reached out and took the paper from her, scanning my eyes over the full green coloured pamphlet the now sat in my hands.

On the front was a building, a really tall building that reached the clouds. Three big bold letters hind above the entrance, catching my attention. F R T.  "F R T?" I questioned her. The feeling of her hand on mine would be something I'd never forget, it comforted me and she knew it. " you need help Harry, and I really think this place will do you good. I just want you to know that I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Even if they throw away their first one on purpose. Good luck Harry. I wish you all the best." Quickly and unexpectedly she leant up and planted a gentle kiss on my temple, one final act of compassion. A small smile crept up on her lips, no matter how beautiful I found it, I couldn't find the will inside of my body's to smile back. As she walked by I closed my eyes, tears breaking free. I fell to my knees bringing my head down in my hands, my hair cascading down over my fingers and without an intention I felt the pamphlet fall, floating down to land somewhere on the floor.

My forehead connected with the hard wooden floors and I struggled to breathe as my tears hit ground, running from my eyes like the water in a waterfall. "Goodbye Harry Edward Styles." And with those last words she was out the door and gone for what already felt like forever.

Authors Note: looking back on this chapter I realise how short this is 😅 okay also wanna apologise for any errors I didn't have time to edit this as I'm baking a cake but I'll come back for it! I hope you all enjoy this!

-Caitlin xx