Castiel was pacing through the room he was able to call his own. He was really happy that Sam and Dean had set it up for him. Deep in thoughts he walked past his cupboard and let his fingers run over his personal things. A jar of honey that he had collected himself last summer, a porcelain figurine of a kitten that he had found in a thrift store a few months ago. He was actually just supposed to wait there while Dean bought some clothes. He went on and passed the cassette player Dean gave him last week. He stopped and smiled. He was so in love with this human, he was barely even functioning. Dean also had given him a Mixtape along with the player and Cas listened to it non stop ever since. He'd felt so flattered that Dean took the time to make a tape for him although for Cas it was a bittersweet kind of thing. Before he first listened to it, he was kinda hoping that there would be some hidden message directed to him in the lyrics. Whenever they look at each other it was like the air between them was full of electricity, he literally could feel the sparks flying. He had always been sure that Dean must've felt the same way. So when he finally, anxiously, pressed play on the recorder, he was a bit let down to say the least. It was still a nice present of course, he cherished everything the hunter ever got him. But as he listened to :
"heaven must be missing an angel", "angels losing sleep",
"help me Angel"
and "Calling all angels",
he found no hidden meanings in these songs. They were just factual statements to him. Of course heaven was missing an angel, dozens to be exact. And he did in fact not get much sleep these days. This all wasn't news. So Cas dismissed this as a friendly gesture from Dean. From his buddy. Cas winced at the thought of that word he hated more with everytime it left Dean's lips.
Suddenly his forehead relaxed, his face lit up. An idea was forming in his mind.
"I could make my own Mixtape for him! And I'll finally let him know how I feel" he said out loud to himself.
Excited he grabbed his coat and gave the cassette player a little pat. Cas made his way to look for Sammy, he would have to show him how to start. He stepped outside his room and into the wide hallways of the men of letters bunker.
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A week had passed since Castiel had given Dean his own Mixtape. Cas was lying on his bed, even though it was early afternoon. He had been moping for days and barely left his room because Dean showed no reaction to the music he picked out for him. Dean had looked really surprised when Cas put the tape into his hands, and Cas could've sworn he saw a soft smile forming on Dean's lips.
" Of course Dean smiled when I was being friendly",
Cas told himself.
He didn't want to get his hopes up. It was still a nice and calming interaction with Dean, since his hunter wasn't really engaging much ever since he gave Cas the player. Cas didn't know why and it made him furious. Additionally now it had been a week since Cas' own tape and still no reaction about all those meaningful song lyrics that he had so neatly picked out over more than one day. It was all so depressing, he felt he was barking up the wrong tree and he was actually about to give up and leave the bunker for good. Really, he probably had been delusional, he had known Dean for so long, and he knew about his own feelings for just as long but yet never happened.
"Well there's probably a reason for that", he muttered to himself. "He just doesn't 'like' me that way."
He folded his arms above his stomach, rolled over onto it and bit the pillow.
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As he was digging his face into his pillow he heard a soft, familiar tune coming from within the bunker. He immediately recognized that it was a song from the tape he made for Dean. For a second he looked a bit puzzled, then decided to check up on Dean and try one last time to get a reaction. He already was on the brink of leaving, maybe now a new chance had come. Eagerly he stepped out of his room and rushed into the direction of the sound. As he was about to turn around a corner he apruptly stopped. Sam and Dean were sitting in a myriad of books, each at their own laptop. The Song 'Keep on loving you' by REO Speedwagon was blasting from the speakers. They seemed so deep into their research and Dean was apparently not even really listening to these lyrics that Cas had so carefully picked out. That just tipped him over the edge. With his brows furrowed and lips pursed he wanted to confront Dean.
As he was building up the guts to face the love of his life in front of his brother, the song lyrics made him boil inside.
