Through A Window | Tweek x Craig

:19: Fixing Broken Pieces

Trigger Warning: Ummmm.....yeah there's mentions of suicide in this. Please be alarmed that this chapter is kinda sensitive...

Words: 1666

Tweek

I ran. I didn't know where I was running too, but I didn't care. I needed to run anywhere than here. I needed to get away from him.

Warm tears were non-stop rolling down my cheeks as I ran. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get them to stop. I was too hurt. Too broken. I couldn't stop crying.

After aimlessly running nowhere, I decided to head towards Stark's Pond. Not many people were there at night so I could at least be alone. Starks Pond had been a perfect place to go whenever you were feeling down. It was always so relaxing and beautiful. Especially at night. But I didn't care about that, I just needed to get away.

I stopped running as I neared a bridge that looking down into the pond. I sat down in a bench and cried and hugged my knees as I thought about the things that Craig had said to me.

"How can someone be so stupid!?"

"I don't need some sappy speech about your own feelings! This is about me!"

"Just get the fuck out of my life!"

His words hit me hard, resulting in even more tears.

He hates me! I thought. He hates me! He hates me! He hates me!

My best friend hates me and there was nothing I could do about it. A normal person wouldn't be this upset, but I did. I didn't know why. Why was this such a big deal!? I shouldn't be crying over someone so awful! What am I doing!?

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get myself to calm down! I couldn't breath. I couldn't fucking breath! God, I can't take this anymore! I want out! I want out!

After a few attempts at trying to control my breathing, it worked and I had calmed down. At least a little bit. Tears still fell from my face and I still was hurt. No way that would go away but at least I could breath.

"No matter where I go...people hate me." I recalled the memory in my head. I had been right. No matter where the hell I go, people hate me and toss me away like I'm nothing! People would be better if I was gone! No, cross that out. No one would even notice if I was gone! No one would care! So what's the point? What the hell is the point anymore!?

I stood up from off the bench and walked up to the railing of the bridge. I looked down into the water which had been around thirty feet below. If I fell, I was sure to crash into the water and freeze to death. It would work. Should I do this? No! This was stupid! But...how can I go on when the one person I truly love hates my guts and wants me out of their life? There, I said it. I've loved Craig for a while and I'm just admitting it now! I love his smile! I love his laugh! I love every goddamn thing about him but he hates every goddamn thing about me!

He hates you. I told myself. He hates you so much! You're annoying! You're a burden to everyone!

I was a burden. Whenever I'm anxious, everyone is driven away from me. Whenever I twitch or spaz, people call me a freak! I can't believe I never noticed how much of a bother I was to everyone until now.

I hate myself. I can't do this anymore.

I wiped away some of my tears as I stood up on the railing, looking down into the water which reflected the starry night sky.

Yeah...this was the right decision. I don't think I can live with myself anymore, knowing now what a burden I am.

What do I do? Should I count? I should count.