Inside the Head of a So-Called Robot

Prologue

"Allison, your brother is dying."

My eyes lazily blinked open as I tried to discern what was going on. When I had gathered my bearings, I jolted from my spot, leaping out of the uncomfortable chair and barreling past the nurse towards my brother's room.  

"Please be alive, Johan, oh please..." I chanted to myself, that becoming my mantra as I sprinted through the hallways of the emergency wing of the hospital.

When I finally found my brother's room, I barged right in to find Johan lying unmoving in a hospital bed. The IV machine was steadily dripping liquid into his veins, and the heart rate monitor punctuated the silence with piercingly loud beeps, each one sounding more sluggish than the last. At least I was the first one in the room, meaning that I could talk to my brother alone. That's all I wanted to do before he... Before the unspeakable occurred.

"Johan, can you hear me?"

My brother's unmoving body shifted slightly as he tilted his head upwards towards my voice. With visible strain, Johan opened his eyes to look at me. His gaze was clouded over, and it pained me to see him this way.

How could this have happened to my brother? Dear, sweet, Johan, the gentle giant of the family. He may appear physically tough, but in reality, he would do anything for those he cares about, including me. That's why I called him my "Guardian Angel"— he always protected me from the the world in general. I don't know how I could ever live without him. He is the other half of my soul, my best friend in the whole world. Johan is the only person I have ever fully trusted in my entire life. Without him, my life would be...

Nothing.

"Allison, is that you?"

My brother's cracked voice brought me out of my dark spiraling thoughts. He cleared his throat, bringing one of his hands up to shield his eyes from the harsh hospital light.

Johan's entire arm was shaking, casting a quivering shadow on his deathly pale face. His skin was taught, accentuating his chin and cheek bones to the point where he looked like death himself. I could feel my heart beat speeding up, each thump punctuated with a searing pain that burned in my chest.

"Johan. You need to go back to sleep. That way, you can get better, and then we can go home. You need to get better, Johan. I don't want you to leave me all alone!"

I began to wail, my cry echoing around the room, reverberating through my body. I didn't shed a tear, though. Johan always told me that crying was for the weak-minded.

"Shh, calm down Allison. I'm not leaving you, at least not now. My time is coming soon, though. But that's besides the point."

Johan was so weak, his voice was barely above a whisper, but I still hung onto his every word. With a sudden ache in my chest, I realized that these could possible even be his last.

No! Don't think like that! Johan will be okay! He HAS to be.

Quickly shoving that thought away, I refocused my attention on Johan's hands, his bones and tendons jutting out dangerously, seemingly about to pierce through his skin.

"Allison, you have always known that I love you and I care about what happens to you. I beg of you, please listen very closely and remember what I'm saying. This is very important for both me and you."

He paused for a minute to catch his breath. This talk was completely sapping him of his energy, but it must be important if he was this serious. Johan was never serious, even when he was sick. He then took a deep breath, ready to pick up where he left off.

"Allison, you are a very fragile thing. First of all, I want you to know that this is not your fault. Those kids always bully you at school, you are constantly pressured by your family to get good grades, and on top of all that, you have recently moved here to Canada. Nothing is wrong with you, but you will still have to change. As you know, I won't always be around to keep you safe from the world."