Seventeen Imagines

Hoshi

"When will you be back?"

"Later. I'll  call you when I'm done, I'm a little busy now, Y/N."

"Okay, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Bye, Soonyoung."

"Bye."

You listened halfheartedly to the emptiness of the other line for a few seconds before locking your phone in dismay.

You were brought back to the times when Soonyoung, no matter how busy he was, told you you could stay on the line for as long as you liked. He'd sometimes even tell you to stay. He always assured you that you were never a bother and encouraged you to say whatever it is you wanted to say. He never liked having to say goodbye to you, and always hated being the first to hang up. Your phone conversations with him always ended with him telling you he loved you, and that he couldn't wait to see you. He used to be the one always calling, and you'd mostly be the receiving end.

Where was that now?

In the recent months, you had felt him drift farther away from you. He was always off somewhere doing something for Seventeen. You understood that; it was his dream. The last thing you wanted was to be in the way of that. But it seemed that though you were once somewhere on the top of his list of priorities, you had somehow slowly sunk to the bottom line. The line where things had to be eliminated.

He'd come home and barely look at you. The most he'd say was "Can you get me some water, Y/N?" and you'd oblige, hurrying to get him a glass. He'd chug it down without a word of thanks, and went straight to bed. When you woke up, he'd already left. You didn't know how it felt like to wake up next to the one you loved. Not anymore.

Heavy thoughts were clouding your head like dark skies as you tried to push away any negativity that was trying to infiltrate your mind. He still loved you. He still loved you.

He still loved you.

Right?

You still loved him.

You loved the sight of him; emotional, happy, and everything in between and beyond. You loved the way he spoke, soft or rough. All the bad things about him were never enough to cloud the good person you knew he was inside.

You just wished you could see more proof of it now.

That's when you realized it. You were doubting your relationship with him, and everything you had that had him playing a part in it. You hadn't noticed it before, but the way you were always feeling uneasy and conflicted when he came home was beginning to become a little clearer. Not once had he ever struck you or done anything physically harmful. He had never even verbally abused you. It seemed like he was just... tired. Cold, and tired. A complete 180 turn from when he was sweet and warm Soonyoung, just a little over two years ago.

You had made up your mind. You were going to have a talk with him tonight. You felt like you knew what the outcome was going to be, but you fought back the tears thinking about it. In the long run, it was going to be the decision that determined how things would turn out for the both of you as individuals. It was going to be difficult, but it would not be avoided.

Soonyoung came home as tired as usual, tossing his bag in the corner by the door, the bag that awaited him just a few hours later when he left for work again. You were sitting on the sofa of the living room, anxiously awaiting his return. As you expected, he plopped himself on the couch right across from you, and asked for some water. You got up without a sound and beelined for the kitchen, thinking all the while of what to say to him. You were trying to choose your words carefully, but even having the thought in your head pushed you over the edge and threatened the tears to fall.