Parenting101

Chapter 11

Andy's POV

I've always wanted to find love, but I didn't need to find it twice with two different people. Especially two people of opposite genders. Like how many times in the world has this happened.  I didn't ask for this crap. I didn't sign up for this. Where is the little button that alerts that I want off this ride? I love Harvey. I love April. But April doesn't love me anymore. Harvey does, but he thinks I'm using him to get over April, but that's definitely not the case. I truly love him. But I love April, too. I have the same kind of love and the same amount of love for both people. Is that possible? Is it ethical? Is it morally acceptable? I don't know, but as I lay in Harvey's arms after a night of such love, I feel like there is something missing...April. Like if she could be on one side and Harvey be on the other, I would be in perfect Heavenly bliss. But I doubt either of them would be up for that or even like each other.

I look over to see Harvey still sleeping. I know he's exhausted after last night. So am I, but my thoughts are keeping me awake. I just don't know what to do. What should I do? Should I choose between them? Should I choose neither of them and just move on from them all? These feelings can't last forever right?

Maybe that is what I should do. Just end things with Harvey and forget about April and be single for a while. It'll be hard and it will hurt, but I have to do this. But how can I after last night? I should've never let this happen last night. It felt great, but it hurts now. Maybe that's how revenge feels. It feels great to get the person back, but the consequences suck. It's a lot like that. It felt great to let Harvey love me, but now as I think about what I have to do, it really hurts.

Harvey stirs and opens his beautiful eyes and smiles the biggest I've ever seen. How can I do this? He's so happy and he loves me so much.

"Morning, beautiful boy," he whispers.

Ugh.

"Morning, Harvey," I say with a nervous smile, but I don't think he noticed thankfully.

"Wanna go get some breakfast?" he asked.

I nod and get up from the bed and head to the bathroom. I lock the door and start panicking. How can I do this to him? Tell him he was right about using him? Tell him the truth? I just don't know. I can't hurt him. I love him so much. Which is why it isn't fair to him.  I love someone else as well. I can't be with either one of them. I have to tell him the truth.

A/N: Whew! I finally updated! Sorry it took me so long. I haven't had any ideas. Well, I did, but I didn't know how to transition to those ideas. Like, I know what's gonna happen, but I don't know how to fill in the space until it happens, know what I'm saying? No? Okay.