The Voice In My Head

Chapter 1- Papa

  December 5th 1972

 Hello Dairy!! My name is Ashley, and I am from North Carolina. Papa just gave me you, because I don't tell Mama and Papa my feelings, So they want me to right them down. But I am very sad! yesterday, Mama and Papa wanted to talk to me, so I came in side from playing soccer with my neighbor. When I came in side Papa said,

" Ooo, my dear Ashley."

Papa never in his hole life has ever talked to me so sweet But scared. It made me confused.

"Come sit down dear." mama told me while her eyes started to ter up. I thought maby it was Uncle Daric, Because he has been sick for a while know. But I was wrong.

"Do you want to say it." Papa asked.

 "No."

 Then Mama started to cry, so I got out of my set and sat on Mama's lap and hugged her. I didn't know way, but she Started to cry more, like when you get hurt, and then you see the blood, witch makes you scared so you cry. Papa hugged me and Mama, and told me to look at him, so I did. I looked straight into his dark brown eyes and he told me, 

" My little princess, O, just look how pretty you are." 

I looked back at Mama and she smiled at me wiping her tiers off her face.

 "your moth..." 

Mama cut Papa off and said,

 " Mama...." 

She took a deep breath in and then out. She told me as slow as any one can tell there child. 

"Ma...Mama......has...., Is.. really really." then I cut her off and asked.

 " Are you trying to tell me, that your really sick, like Cancer sick." Mama shuck her head yes.

I hugged Mama so tight that I couldn't even breath my self, and I started to cry, which made Mama and Papa start to cry to. I have never seen Papa cry before. 

Last night had to be the most sad and scary night of my  whole life. Papa started to get mad that Mama is sick, so he stomped in my room while Mama was trying to read me my bed time story. I would never believed that papa would do this to Mama but he did.

" JENNY." Papa yelled in her face." The doctors called." He continued to yell at Mama. "WHY"

Mama tried to keep calm and said very softly, "I know were all scared, But what did the doctors say."

"He told me you only have two months to F*** live."

I have never herd Papa use such words. He grabbed Mama by the hair and pulled her out of my room. She was yelling and screaming in pain and Terror. 

"Papa STOP", I yelled, "Papa.....stop." 

I fell down to the floor crying for Mama. I decided  to follow Papa and Mama. Papa grabbed his belt and tide Mama to the bed.

" If you get pregnant, then they will make you live longer."

"dear, no, please don't."

"to late." he told Mama

Papa took a knife and started to cut her clothes off, she was screaming and crying. Mama looked at me and said.

"help, my baby girl, please help, come to Mama."

So i walked into Mama and Papas room. Papa didn't like that, so he picked me up,and grabbed another belt and tide me to my bed. He Then stated to cut my clothes off to.

"Two in one day, The best day of my life."

I didn't know what was going on, but I now that it was bad, because Mama was yelling for me,he then took his clothes off and asked me.

" do you want to know what it is."

Then mama  was yelling a screaming.

"NOOOOOOO, no please stop don't, please dear you will hurt her."

He looked at Mama and told her.

"No."

He then started to kiss me, Like he does to Mama, but he didn't stop and, and then..... He did it. just not with Mama but his four year old dater. My Papa was having it with me. and no it was straight out torture.

Then he went to Mama.

"At least let her go, please."

"No, H*** no.

Then he did it with Mama. I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.

 About an hour later I hear police sirens. Then i see a police man raping me in a blanket, and I asked.

"weres Mama and Papa." 

"your Father killed himself when he saw us. I'm glade you were sleeping dear, that would been scary for you."

"I'm glade he died." I told the man.

"why"

"well my Papa....."

The man interrupted me. " was hitting you, and stuff, I heard,"

"Yes, But that's not all."

"Whats not all." The man asked.

"well Papa should me what it was."

"What do you mean?" 

" Papa should me how to..... You know."

"O My God."

Then I heard gun shots, and saw Papa running out of the house.

"Ya all thought I was dead ha."

"well you are know."

and I looked at the Man, and followed the bullet with my eyes, to my Papa. I watched him suffer in pain, and I think he deserves  the slow pain to death, What he did to Mama. He deserved it. he deserved it. he deserved it.