He was the one that saved me

Demons

I feel so disgusted with myself. I hate myself. I want to feel free of this pain. My demons are not letting me rest. I just want to close my eyes and feel free. Nothing helps, no one needs me. 

"Do you want to come home with me after school?" 

"Naa man, i will go the the woods and  I am gonna study for the test and listen to some Agust D"

"Good plan, I might to the same" 

I force a smile on my face. She doesn't know it but I might not return tomorrow. As long as she doesn't find out that I am trying to kill myself again. Always I am stopped and swore not to do that again. But...I just need to be free. I can't do this. I slowly walk in class and go to my seat that is at the back of the class. I sight as I start drawing all kinds of shit in my notebook. 

Time Skip

School finally ended!!!!! Fuck yeah!! I get up and run out of the school. I run a bit and arrive to the woods. I walk as I start singing.

" Oooh ooh wooh ooh ooh
I have felt all kind of pains
I have been crying myself to sleep
Wooh ooh ooooh
Everywhere I look 
I see darkness
I see black and white surrounding me
All the colors are gone
All the light has gone out--"

"Whoa" i hear a guys voice

I spin around and see two guys looking at me amazed. One was slightly shorter than the other. The shorter on has blond and the other one has blueish hair.

WHAT THE HELL ARE TWO BTS MEMBERS DOING IN THE WOODS?!?!

I pull my hoodie on my head, hands in my pockets and just walk away. Don't get me wrong i love their music and all but i just don't want to distrupe them. Because that's all i know how to do. I always disturb people. 

I am nothing, I shouldn't be living. I should just kill myself. I sit on a rock and take my pocket knife. I look at the plate. I slowly move it on my wrist

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU PROMISED!!" 

I look up at my angry friend. I jump up from the rock "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS FEELS!!" I scream back at her

She looks hurt, tears come rolling down her cheecks as she says "I am your friend, we are like sisters. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie? We can get help"

"I don't want to eat pills for the rest of my life!!"

"You won't!!!! why won't you let me help you?!"

"No one can help me!!!" I chocke on my words and I start to run. 

I run and run until there is no breath left in me. I collapse and start crying. Crying and trying to catch my breath. I can't do this. I just can't. 

I am not strong enough, I can't. I take out my pocket knife out but as soon as I do the knife is taken away from me. I look up and see the amazing swag rapper. Yoongi. He crouches next to me and looks at me silently. He slowly picks my hand and looks at my wrist. 

He traces the scars with his fingers. He goes to my recent one. I flinch a bit. His fingers feel....chilly against my scars. I just stare at him. He helps me up. As he takes my hand we start walking. We arrive to a camping site and I see 6 different guys. Holy jesus. They...whoa. Hot. They look more handsome in person.

"You are alive!!!" My best friend runs to me and hugs me tight

I stumble a bit but I hug her back. I glance at Yoongi. I mouth 'thank you' 

He nods and gives me a smile. He then walks to where the other guys are. Question is, why did he save me? Why did he care?

"Yeah.." 

"Don't you ever do that again!!!" 

She then takes my hand and takes me to the guys.  

"Namjoon!! I want you to meet my best friend"

I avoid eye contact and look at the ground.  

"Meet Alissa, my dearest best friend. Who I can't live without" I know she is looking at me 

I just wave my hand not looking up. 

"Suzy I 'm gonna go" 

and then I walk off . While I hear my name being yelled. I let tears roll down my cheeks. I have one last change and I need to do this right. I walked miles and miles until I got to the beach. I take my leather jacket off and fold it neatly. I then place it on the ground. I put my phone on top of my jacket and also my keys. I take some strong rope out of my pocket. I walk up to the rocks. I tie the rope around my waist and at the other end I tie a rock. 

"I am so sorry"  I whisper

"NO!" I hear at the distance 

How ironic how I hate water and I can't swim. Yet this is the way I am killing myself. I take one last breath and jump. 

I hear my friend scream and some other yells. 

I hear a splash and I feel like I am floating. I feel...I feel free. My lungs start burning. Before I embrace the darkness I feel warm around my waist and feel like I am pulled up.

I feel cold. And I feel pressure on my chest. I wonder is this how it feel to die. Or am I perhaps dead? I feel something against my lips. My lungs burn. I need air. 

I gasp and start coughing. I gasp for air and struggle to catch my breath. 

"YOU ARE ALIVE!!" She hugs me

I gasp and then close my eyes, and darkness takes me to it's hold. 

****weeks later****

I slowly open my eyes. I look around seeing everything blurry. Where am I? I close my eyes and open my eyes again. I try to focus my eyes. Soon my sight focuses I see a white ceiling. I look and see...Yoongi and the other members sleeping. Then I see Suzy sleeping next to Namjoon. 

Why was I saved and who saved me? I need to know. 

I cough suddenly

"Here" I hear Yoongi say as he hands me some water

After I got some water I stop coughing. I slowly sit up. Yoongi helps me. Even if he can't talk much english i don't mind. Before i can say a word i hear Suzy waking up. 

"God my head" 

I look and see how she gets up, she glanches at me and then looks away. She stops and turns around. 

"OMG!! YOU ARE AWAKE!!!" She runs to me and hugs me tight 

***********************

A/N

Hey beautiful people. How are you all? I did this book because some don't understand how it feels hating yourself, how the world looks. So I did this so that people could understand people who have suicidal thoughts and how to see if they are suicidal and how to help then. 

I have had on my part some suicidal thoughts and fighting it currently. Suicide is no laughing matter, it is quite serious in fact. 

Also HAPPY GENIUS YOONGI DAY!!!! Our boy is now 25 years!!! I hope you are all having a good day. 

And I am telling you upfront that I am getting sick and also I am busy with school but I will try to update as soon as possible