The Jack of All Trades {Sherlock Holmes}

Chapter Eleven

Gunshots rang out through Baker Street, making Evelyn and John break into a sprint, rushing through the front door of 221B.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Yelled Evelyn as they reached the top of the stairs. John and Evelyn stared at Sherlock as he yelled his answer.

"Bored," he said sulkily, laying in his chair.

"What?" John asked, clearly disbelieving what he was hearing. Evelyn simply sighed and closed her eyes.

"Bored!" Sherlock jumped out of the chair, raising his arm towards the wall as Evelyn and John covered their ears.

"No, don't-!" He fired, and switched hands, and fired. He continued to fire, angrily yelling that he was bored multiple times before Evelyn grabbed the gun and slid the clip out of it. Sherlock walked towards the sofa, speaking loudly.

"Don't know what's got into the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them."

"So you take it out on the wall?!" Evelyn said, exasperated as she hide the gun. 

"Ah, the wall had it coming." Sherlock dramatically flopped down onto the sofa, clearly too tall for it.

"What about that Russian case?" John asked, taking his and Evelyn's coats. Sherlock pushed his feet to shove himself into the sofa even more.

"Oh, the guy that killed his wife?" Sherlock hummed, nodding.

"Belarus. Open and shut domestic murder. Not worth my time." Evelyn glared at him.

"Ah, shame!" She said sarcastically as John walked into the kitchen. She sat herself in Sherlock's chair, making him glance at her as she pulled her knees to her chest.

"Anything in? I'm starving." Sherlock smirked as John opened the door. "Oh- f-" he slammed it shut, clearly unable to believe what he just saw inside, placing his forehead on the fridge door for a few seconds before he opened the door again.

"Is it the head?" Evelyn asked, flipping through her phone. John nodded.

"Yeah- yeah, it's a head. A severed head!" John closed the door again.

"Just tea for me, thanks." John rushed into the living room.

"Why is there a head in the fridge?!" John asked, clearly shaken. Evelyn smirked.

"Well, where else was I supposed to put it? I got it from Bart's morgue," Sherlock said, making John look at Evelyn who simply shrugged. "I'm measuring the coagulation of saliva after death." He waved his hand vaguely in the direction of a nearby laptop. "I see you've written up the taxi-driver case."

"Uh, yes." John sat down in his chair across from Evelyn.

"A Study in Pink. Nice." Sherlock said. 

"Well, you know... Pink lady, pink case, pink phone - there was a lot of pink. Did you like it?" Sherlock flipped through the magazine he had picked up.

"Erm, no."

"Why not? I thought you'd be flattered."

Sherlock, lowering the magazine, glared at him. "Flattered?" Sherlock pointed to a section of the blog and quoted: Sherlock sees through everything and everyone in seconds. What's incredible, though, is how spectacularly ignorant he is about some things."

Evelyn snorted, covering her mouth almost immediately to drown out her laughter as Sherlock glared at her.

"Now hang on a minute. I didn't mean that in a-"

"Oh, you meant "spectacularly ignorant" in a nice way!" Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister-"

"I know."

"Or who's sleeping with who."

"Whether the Earth goes 'round the Sun," John muttered. Evelyn smiled slightly.

"Not that again. It's not important!" Evelyn shifted in her chair to face Sherlock.

"Sherlock, it's primary school stuff! How can you not know that?" Evelyn asked. Sherlock pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes.

"Well, if I ever did, I've deleted it," He answered, swinging his legs off the sofa to face the two, pointing to his head with one finger. "This is my hard drive, and it only makes sense to put things in there that are useful. Really useful!" He grimaced. "Ordinary people fill their heads with all kinds of rubbish, and that makes it hard to get at the stuff that matters! Don't you see?!"

John and Evelyn both bit their lips to stay quiet.

Evelyn didn't last too long before she yelled, "But it's the Solar System!"

"Oh, hell! What does that matter?!" He looked at Evelyn in frustration. "So we go around the Sun! If we went 'round the Moon, or 'round and 'round the garden like a teddy bear-" He flailed his hands around beside his head while narrating the line from the children's poem, "it wouldn't make any difference! All that matters to me is the work! Without that, my brain rots." He ruffled his hair with both hands, glaring at Evelyn, who was less than amused, before looking at John.

"Put that in your blog," he growled. "Or better still, stop inflicting your opinions of the world."

"Sherlock!" Evelyn called out as he shoved the magazine across the coffee table, lying down on the sofa again and turning his back on the two of them. He curled into a ball, pulling his dressing gown around him.

John, angrily, stood up, walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Sherlock asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Out! I need some air." John said tightly, putting on his jacket. Evelyn sighed as he headed for the stairs as Mrs. Hudson came up. "'Scuse me, Mrs. Hudson."

"Oh, sorry, love!"

"Sorry," John muttered, moving past her. Angrily, Sherlock turned his face away again, curling up even tighter. Mrs. Hudson came in, bringing in shopping bags, with which Evelyn immediately stood up to help with.

"Ooh-ooh! Have you had a little domestic, is that why John left, dear?" Evelyn laughed quietly.

"No- no, we're not dating Mrs. Hudson, he's actually dating Sarah now" she said, smiling at the lovely woman, who hummed in reply. Sherlock flailed as he got up, walking over the coffee table on his way to the left-hand window to watch John as he left.

"Ooh, it's a bit nippy out there. He should have wrapped himself up a bit more." Sherlock didn't even look over as Evelyn wrapped her sweater around herself, standing next to him.

"Look at that, Mrs. Hudson," he said scanning the street. "Quiet, calm, peaceful." He breathed in longly before continuing. "Isn't it hateful?"

"I think it's nice," Evelyn said, reminiscing. Sherlock glanced at her for a moment, hoping to pick out words, but nothing came, much to his dismay. Mrs. Hudson put a receipt on the kitchen table, as she spoke.

"Oh, I'm sure something'll turn up, Sherlock. A nice murder - that'll cheer you up." She chuckled slightly, carrying her own groceries towards the living room door.

"Can't come too soon." Mrs. Hudson suddenly stopped.

"Hey. What've you done to my bloody wall?!" Sherlock quirked a smile as he turned to look at the bullet holes in the wall. Evelyn sighed again, moving to towards the other window to open the blinds more. "I'm putting this on your rent, young man!"

Sherlock, grinned at the smiley face on the wall before turning to face the kitchen, just as a massive explosion went off in the street outside the window, throwing Sherlock to the floor, and Evelyn to the table where she hit her head.