Not While I'm Around

0.4 - Jimin

trigger warning. there is some bullying and harassment.

Jimin's POV

  I cover the marks with a long baggy sweater and tight black pants. Even after sleep, they seem to linger. My body aches and I struggle to pull the pants on. My hands gripping feverishly at the waistband, my skinny hips making it slightly easier to do them up. I comb through the pink hair laid messily on top of my head, my black roots showing through.

  Let's try to have a good day Jimin. You owe at least that to mom.

  I creep down the stairs, the creaking of the floorboards not enough to wake my father, sleeping heavily on the sunken-in-couch. An empty bottle lays beside his hand, a drop of the alcohol still on his lips, dripping towards his chin. The bags under his eyes are more prominent, his knuckles are still red, and his belt isn't put on properly.

  I slink to the kitchen, my feet barely touching the floor, trying hard to be quiet. I open the cabinet and see the Triscuit crackers, I grab a handful and a water bottle. My lunch for the day.

  I grab a scoop of dog food and walk out to the backyard. The fluffy black and white dog sits uncomfortably on the snow, his ears flattened by the cold wind. The dog house has holes in it, and ice has started to build up on the roof and floor. The metal dish sits to the right of him, his water is frozen. I dump the food in and grab the dish to refill the water.

  I run inside eager to escape the cold, I dump the ice outside and fill the bowl with warm water. I place it next to his food, the bowl almost empty by now, but his stomach is still barren. I pat him on the head, already late to leave. 

  I run to the house and creep into the living room to the front door, throwing my coat and boots on, grabbing my backpack and heading to school.

  The roads are plowed now, but our driveway is still covered in snow. The change in temperature triggers my cheeks to turn bright red, my chin gets cold and I tuck it down into the collar of my coat. My toes curl up, the warmth slowly slipping away. I shove my hands into my pockets and continue to walk. 

  The front yards of my neighbors look like seas of foam, the pure white color causing me to squint my eyes, the bright sun reflecting off the surface. The occasional lawn tree covered in a brown mesh jacket to keep it from freezing sticks out among the sea of white.

  The walk to school is long and lonely, the winter birds keep me little company. Seokjin usually meets me half way to school from his house, he's old enough that he's graduated already but he likes to talk a lot. I don't complain, at least not to his face.

  His handsome face. The features that keep me captivated, my heart longs for them now. His large hands that once held mine in them, when he had calmed me down from the panic attack that once paralyzed my body. The calming voice that soothed my irregular breathing. The heartbeat I heard clear as day with my head on his chest. I miss him now, on this lonely walk. His presence has left an open place that just can't seem to be filled by anyone but him.

  Where are you Seokjin?

  The large brown building comes into view as I turn the corner. The large floor to ceiling windows glowing with artificial light. A large group of students stands at the steps leading up to the school. It looks like every cliché movie about high school.