Finding Us- A MiraFreed Fanfic

Chapter Seventeen: Anxiety

Knocking on her door, Freed feels his heart racing and thumping in his chest. He hasn't seen her in at least two weeks- probably longer.

"Come in..." Her voice is soft and fragile sounding. Slowly opening the door, Freed finds her sitting up in bed, knees to her chest, head laying on her them, while she's looking out the window. His heart breaks. He understands what Lisanna meant by saying she doesn't look the same. He can see her wrist bones clearly, her cheek bones...it looks like someone dug up a skeleton and slapped some skin on it. Her hair is loose around her body, not even her bangs are tied up- it's slightly wet from the shower she had just taken that morning. She doesn't look up to find Freed standing there. Setting the food on her desk, he slowly walks over and now her eyes catch his. They're dull and listless. "Freed..."

He says nothing and just kneels on the floor in front of her bed. His head droops and he is slumped over with his face to his knees. He can't hide his tears. He can't stop feeling the pain in his body. He shakes and wishes he could save her. Mira says nothing to him. She just closes her sunken eyes and lets the morning sun shine brightly through the window, just barely touching her skin.

"I'm sorry..." His voice cracks and splits between his normal deep voice to a slightly higher octave. He sits up just enough that his head is within arms reach. Suddenly he feels her thin boney hand land on his head and just rest there.

"Don't, Freed. Please don't cry over me. I did this to myself. I don't need your pity." Her voice is still soft and sweet. Looking up to her, his tears slide down his cheeks and Mira just frowns at him. "Can you...come here?"

Looking at her hand on the bed beside her, he stays frozen in his spot. It's still unreal to him. Mira would never look so much like a husk or a shell of the person she normally is. Getting up, he sits facing her on the bed, and Mira just slowly scoots closer to him and wraps her lanky body around him. She feels so light against his body. There's no volume to her. It's like she's not even there.

"I made some terrible decisions in my life...but letting myself get beat by this...depression...that's the worst thing I've ever allowed to happen." She quietly says into the crook of his neck. "I have no one to blame for this, but myself. I'm just sorry you have to see me this way."

"Stop..." His hands find their way to her waist, which exposes her bottom ribs and a flatter stomach than normal. "I...I...I only see the beautiful woman I fell in love with..."

He can feel tears hit his neck and his hands run up her back, he can touch every vertebrae in her spine.

"I'm ugly..."

"No." He sits up, which forces her to look at him. "Don't ever say that!"

"Freed..."

"I don't want to hear such negativity come out of that mouth ever again." She shakes and he stands up. "We're gonna get you back to a healthy weight and get you feeling better. I won't stand by and watch you waste away from this world. Whether you want me in your life or not- I'm going to be right here until you tell me to go..."

"Freed!" She yells to get him to calm down. When he takes a few deep breaths, he regains a calm nature to him and Mira just smiles at him. "I don't want you to go anywhere..."

"Good...cause I'm not. And I'm not marrying any other woman. I'm gonna marry you some day." His words make her boney cheeks blush and Freed grabs her hands and makes her turn in bed. With her legs over the edge of the bed, Freed picks her up into his arms and kissing her lips. "I love you, Mirajane. I always have. And that'll never change. Whether you want me or not."

"I want you Freed. No doubt in my heart. I've said things that..."

"I don't care about that. It was an argument to keep your sanity. I'm not cursed. It wouldn't work on me because I know who I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. No spell can change that." He sits on the couch with her in his lap. "I promise you, from this day forward- I will never hurt you. I will keep you in good health, and I will love you every day like it's my last."