remedy

2

i tiptoe out of my warm covers to examine my newly skinny body, frowning at my exposed and protruding collarbones and hips.

i can practically feel niall say that it's not smart to not eat.

even if i can only muster up one bite, i'll do it for him.

as i bite down on the soggy cereal, i wince. the bile in my stomach roars awake to start today's cycle. it rocks in waves and rises until i put the spoon down because it's almost too much to handle.

and as i close my eyes there he is, always showing up at the most convenient times, he sits down next to me and rests his thumb on my chin

"chew"

his responses are stern but melt into me, settling my stomach instantly.

i nod and comply, chewing my cereal, opening my mouth to show that the food has been swallowed completely, hoping he was satisfied with me following directions.

he flashes me a shiny smile, "five more bites and then i can tell you what's on the agenda for today"

i quicken up the pace of eating my captain crunch, eager to know what the day has in store for the both of us.

i hear stomping coming from the stairway and know my family has awoken, my eyes widen and i quickly turn to niall, eyes wide hoping my mom doesn't notice

niall frantically looks around and tell him to duck under the bar stools next to the island

"vivian, it's good to see you moving this morning. have you eaten?"

the sound of her loud voice doesn't sit right with me, no one's voice is gentle enough to sit right with me.

why is niall the only person who knows the art of gentle speaking?

the bile starts rumbling again as i open my eyes and they adjust to the light

"yes mom i've eaten, im heading back up to my room now"

i look under the chairs and my stomach drops to see he's gone again, he never sticks around long.

my mom tries to smile but i can see the worry like it's a coat she's wearing.

i quietly put my bowl in the sink and walk up the stairs.