Fragile Hearts

22: Guilt Trip

I walk in the house and my mom greets me. She asks about Morgan and I try to blow her off by saying, "Hey, she's a sweet girl."

Mom counters, "You really like her, don't you?"

My mom has always been able to read me like a book.

"Yeah, and believe it or not, we're friends."

"Are you going to tell her?"

I open the fridge and pull out a can of coke, popping the top. "And make her hate me?"

Mom shakes her head. "As many times as I've told you over the years that it wasn't your fault, I think it goes in one ear and out the other." She places her hands on my shoulders and looks me squarely in the face. "It wasn't your fault, son." She emphasizes the words.

Turning away, I say, "I've got tons of homework."

Mom follows me to my room. "Tyce, you've got to stop this guilt trip."

Finally, I look at her and say quietly, "Mom, the truth is that I made a decision that I knew was wrong and it cost the lives of three people and put Morgan in a wheelchair. Now I don't want to talk about it anymore."

My mom throws up her hands and makes an exasperated sound before stalking from my room.

Later that night my cell phone rings and the ID says it's Cindy. The woman is driving me crazy and I can't believe how stupid I was to sleep with her. Somehow she thinks we should now be a couple. And her friends are even worse than she is. Tina is always giving me the come-on, so I have to go out of my way to avoid her on campus. Of course, with her being in one of Morgan's classes, that's pretty much impossible.

Instead of ignoring the call, I answer it. I decide to try convincing Cindy once more that there's nothing between us. "Hello, Cindy."

"Hey, Tyce. What's up?"

"Homework."

"Well, me and some friends are headed over to Bandy's Bar; would you like to join us?"

"I'll pass."

She hesitates. "You know we could slip away somewhere and continue where we left off."

"Cindy, it's not going to happen. That night, well, I'd had a rough day and drank too much. What happened between us won't happen again."

"Ah, come on, Tyce. It was great and you know it."

I roll my eyes because it wasn't great, but I'm not so heartless I would tell her that. I say, "Cindy, you're a beautiful woman, but I'm not the guy for you."

I hear anger in her voice when she replies, "It's that crippled girl, isn't it. Why do you have the hots for her? She can't give you what I can."

Now I'm angry. "You don't know what you're talking about. Morgan is my friend. I can have female friends without sleeping with them, you know."

"I'd believe you if I didn't see how you drool over her."

"Cindy, this discussion is over. Goodbye." I start to hang up.

"Wait!" she interjects. The line is silent and then she says, "You don't know what a good time you're missing." She hangs up.

I toss my phone on the bed and groan. I have a feeling Cindy is not going to give up so easily.