I sat with guys today.
They asked why I sat there. And said they were in the middle of taking about manly stuff. Then left. And I was alone.
First off, it's hard for me to make friends with females because I'm not really all that feminine.
I connect more with guys. All they saw was that I was a female and didn't seem to think I could find interest in what they were possibly talking about.
If they were talking about gaming, I would've gotten so interested. I love gaming. I'm literally thinking of taking Game Art Design next year.
Guys at my schools are like the females at my school. Fucking judgmental. Because of this, I tried so hard not to cry and waited until I got home and cried. I didn't want to go to church because more judgment.
I feel I get judged all the time. It's hard. Depression and anxiety, I have because it's genetic for the females in my family to have mental illnesses, make me want to stay home all the time. It's the one place I'm not judged.
I keep my thoughts in my head. To myself. No one knows the dangerous thoughts in my mind. But I manage to appear fine.
It's why I tried to not get judged by the people around me where I was sitting, alone, because the guys left.
