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Bake Sale

Everyone groaned when Linda said the words 'Bake Sale'. All Reinhardt knew was that it was either gonna be her nasty ass Lemon Squares or some store bought garbage.

"So who's going to volunteer to bring food?" She asked.

"I've got a friend who can bake pretty well." Reinhardt said before half of the pta cringed. They knew he was talking about Peri and they hated her.

"Are we seriously going to let a psychopath cook for our children? She probably puts human flesh in her cooking!" A parent exclaimed.

"Actually, that meat pie she brought wasn't flesh, it was beef, Frank. She does not condone eating humans nor does she put human flesh in her pies." Reinhardt replied. "Just because she acts a little different doesn't mean she can't help out."

"So what are you going to do next? Bring that closed eyed freak too!?" Helen shouted.

"Helen, shut the fuck up for two seconds. Oscar has nothing to do with this. He's taking college classes to help provide for his two brothers, both of which could probably send you flying across the room."

"Mom I can help!" A boy's voice said, obviously excited about the bake sale

"Shut up Alex, no one likes your cookies compared to my lemon squares." Linda replied.

"Well at least his cookies actually taste good compared to your lemon flavored glue." Berkut replied, high fiving Reinhardt under the table before jotting down Peri and Alex down as people to bring food. "Also, looking at your plans Linda, no one is fucking crazy enough to wake up and be at a bake sale at 5 in the morning. I know only one person who wakes up that early. We have to change it to something after school so that more people will come."

"We can't! Billy has something to do after school!"

"Linda, darling, the world doesn't revolve around you and your children, it revolves around the sun. Have you not taken a basic science class? I mean since you always do Billy's Science Fair projects for him while he bullies Anthony and shoves food in his pie whole like a damn animal." The whole room went silent and Linda was fuming with her face being redder than Lukas' hair and smoke coming out of her ears like a Thomas the Tank Engine model.

"You just did not...." Carol said quietly.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR KIND RUINING MY LIFE!" Linda shouted, her anger so high, she could flip the table at this point.

"My kind? No no Linda. I am a human being. You are a disgusting animal that needs to learn some manners. Now sit." Berkut replied, trying to command the fuming soccer mom like a dog.

"Don't do it Linda..." Helen said quietly, trying to hold Linda back.

"Anyways, back to the bake sale plans. I suggest we get some tents because it's probably going to be really hot out." Reinhardt said.

"Where are we going to get the money for that?" Another parent asked.

"Simple. We take the $50 we need from the ridiculous amount of money the sports department has. Seriously, we can afford a state of the art gym and new uniforms every year but we can't give the art teacher some new chairs and paint brushes? Her class has 35 students and half of the chairs are broken leaving half of them standing."

"We can't do that! Think of the children!" Helen exclaimed.

"I am. I'm trying to save you guys money on new shoes for your kids from them having to stand all day and us medical bills if someone passes out from heat stroke. So Helen, shut up and let people finish their damn points before you open your mouth like a damn bass fish. So, all in favor of taking $50 from the sports fund to fund tents for the bake sale say Aye." Everyone but Linda and Helen replied Aye.