Short Stories

Monsters

   I live with monsters and no one else can see them. They have been a part of my life for so long, I cannot seem to remember what life is like without them.

   The first is Ankth. 
   She is not the terrifying beast with razor-sharp claws and fangs that everyone is terrified of being under their bed as a child. She is actually quite beautiful in a dark way.
   She is not the kind of monster that scares you with looks; she is the kind who lurks into your mind. She makes me see everything I have never wanted to see and hear everything I never wanted to hear. She makes me feel like I am drowning when there is no water. She makes me pull my hair out and twist my rings for comfort.
   She is always with me, with her hand around my wrist.

   The second is Adhi. I have known her the longest.
   She is not much of a monster. She has never scared me or hurt me. Her only flaw is that she just cannot control herself.
She says whatever she thinks, no matter where we are or the circumstances. Her mind never ceases to stop thinking, so she never stops talking. She is always filled with energy and never gets tired.
   She is more like an imaginary friend than a monster, because she is always there for me and will never leave.

   The third is Partadir. She is the monster that must have everything her way.
   She is the one who makes me scream at my friends for bothering my things. She is the one that makes me line up books from tallest to shortest. She is the one that gives me fits when my eyeshadow or eyeliner is not exactly the same.
   She is the one who makes me feel as if I will go insane every time I look at one of my paintings because she will point out every single little mistake.
   She does not show up as often as she used to, though. She seems to have taken a vacation, but I have no doubt that she will be back.

   The fourth is Fuan. She is the monster that puts me down.
   She is constantly telling me that I will never amount to anything.
   She tells me that I should lose weight if I want to be loved. She tells me that I should stop talking because no one cares about my opinion. She points out my many imperfections like acne, stretch marks, and cellulite.
   Eventually, I learned to stand up to her and tell her all the good things about my body and she finally backed down.

   The fifth Kólé. He is not the most terrifying monster, but his ferocity deserves to be mentioned.
   He hides in the darkness most days, but when he shows himself, he destroys everything and everyone in his path.
   He is violent. He throws things and screams the most hurtful things he can think of. He has obliterated many of my relationships and never leaves a way to fix them.

   The sixth is Huzn. Personally, I do not know if it is a she or he. I do know, however, that it is the monster that only appears when I am in my darkest places.
   It is the one that makes me want to no longer continue living. It is the one that makes me feel like I have no value on this earth.
   It is the one that put slashes into my arms and thighs because I did not know how else to satisfy it. But it was still not satisfied: It wanted me dead.

   Even though almost all of my monsters try to eat me alive, I will never try to rid myself of them, for it is futile. The are a part of me and without them, I would not survive.
I am not the only one with monsters. In fact, almost everyone on this earth has at least one. However, not everyone can tame them. They try to destroy them or block them out, but it only makes them worse. People must learn that their monsters are not their enemies, no matter how evil they seem. They are part of us and we must learn to live with them in harmony.
   I have learned to live with my monsters. I hope you can too.