In This Together ▷ Stilinski

Chapter 32. Blacklight and Blackout

I dropped my phone onto Stiles' bed and paced around in front of his wall, letting my eyes scan over the information once more. There is a connection. There has to be a freaking connection. That's one thing that I know is true, my ability always has a reason for putting me through things, and the sleepwalking and dreams have to point to something... I just can't figure out what it could be. 

The fact that Stiles' comforter and sheets are both tousled on the bed is distracting me. I can't stop thinking about the intimate moments we shared. I need to focus but I can't. For some god damn reason I can't stop thinking about Stiles, which isn't too eccentric considering he is my boyfriend and I love him, but lately that's all I'm thinking about. I'm even dreaming about him, but not in the way that I want... Instead I'm dreaming about him with blood smeared on his hands and his mouth and he is always taunting me and pushing me to the the edge and I can't figure out for the life of me what that means.

I spun around on my heel and ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I hate not knowing what the hell is going on, especially when it's putting the people I care about at risk. It's not like I'm the only one being affected here, Scott and Stiles are going through some of the same stuff right now and if I could just figure out what my ability is trying to tell me then maybe I could help them. 

Stiles' bedroom door squeaked open and I froze in place as Stiles walked inside. He was holding his phone to his ear, talking to someone-- my money was on Scott, and he didn't seem to notice me as he went straight to his dresser, pulling the drawer open and snatching a shirt out. 

"Yeah, I got it. I'm gonna call-- oh my God!" He shrieked as he finally realized I was in his room. He dropped his phone to the floor, along with the shirt, and pulled his hands over his now racing heart. 

I let out a breath and offered a faint smile, "Surprise?"

Stiles was breathing erratically as he snatched up his phone and said good-bye to whomever he was speaking to. He then gave me his full attention, "Not that I don't love the idea of you in my bedroom, but what the hell are you doing in here?"

To lie or not to lie?

I bit down on my lip and tried to think of something to say that wouldn't technically be lying but also wouldn't give away everything that I wasn't ready for him to hear yet. These were the moments that I dreaded more than anything. These were the moments that were starting to deteriorate my relationships with everyone. 

He picked up on my hesitation and sighed, "What happened? Are you okay?" 

"As far as I know, yeah." I chose to respond to his second question rather than the first. It was easier that way. It's easier to just avoid things rather than facing them. 

Stiles, once again, picked up on my avoidance of the topic as to why I am in his bedroom. I should just lie and say that I missed him and I wanted to be with him. I should just kiss him and hold him and try to relive that perfect moment we had when the world wasn't trying to tear us down.  He took a step forwards and grabbed at my hands, "Kasey, I know you're scared but you have to trust me." 

"I do... Trust you, I mean. There's just a lot of stuff in my head that doesn't make sense right now, Stiles. I'm not trying to shut you out, I swear." I sighed, letting my eyes fall to the floor. This conversation was bound to happen eventually. I was just kind-of hoping I would have some sort of handle on the situation when it did, that way I knew what to say and how to say it.

Silence filled the room and it made me sick to my stomach. He's waiting for me to start attempting to explain what's going on in my head that I'm so confused about. He's waiting for me to open up and let him in. That stupid voice in the back of my head is telling me to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut because I can't tell him, and it's freaking me out because Stiles is the one person that I always tell everything too.