It gets better

I was sitting down on the cold floor, I could see nothing but darkness all around me. The air felt damp and heavy, every breath I took was suffocating and painful. I swiveled my head around, desperately trying to look for a way out of that place. I started to hear whispers all around me, nothing tangible but started to feel a chill down my spine. I panicked as the voices grew louder and louder, the voices were practically screaming in my ears. I tried to cover my ears with my hands, hoping that voices would cease, but the voices kept getting louder and louder. I put my head down and closed my eyes shut, trying anything that I can to muffle the voices.

The voices started to dig into my ears, each syllable felt like nails digging into my brain, and just as the pain became unbearable, they stopped. The whispers were replaced by a singular, deep voice whispering against my ear, "You look confused. This is no place for you. You don't belong here. Why don't you do everyone a favor and get out of here." I opened my eyes and released my hands from my ears, finding nothing around me. I looked up to see a large knife with a particularly sharp looking blade, floating in front of me. I reached out and grabbed it before examining it closely, "What are you waiting for? Do it!" The knife pulled itself closer to my neck, I winced and closed my eyes as the blade came closer. The steel felt cold as the blade started to cut into my neck, a few drops of blood dripping down out of me, and I started to hear a loud ringing in my ears...

I slowly woke up as the alarm clock started ringing, I feel very lightheaded as I slowly got up, "Ugh, what was that dream?" I said groggily. My vision was still blurry as I tried to look at the calendar hanging on the wall. I grabbed my glasses from my drawer and chill went down my spine as I saw what was marked for today, "Right... First day of high school...." A long sigh came out of my mouth as my mind started to fill with dread, the idea of going back to an environment filled with peer pressure, hormone fueled teens, and where popularity dictated everything was not an appealing idea for me.

Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay in my room and just read a good book but I was already hearing footsteps getting closer to my room and then a knock on the door, "Honey," I heard my mom's voice from the door, "Are you up yet?"

I let out an exasperated breath and finally got out of bed, "Yeah, mom. I'm getting ready."

"Well, come downstairs for breakfast when you're done. Don't want to miss your first day of high school." I could hear her walking away.

I took a quick shower, the feeling of warm water against my skins always feels great. I dried myself up with a towel in front of the bathroom mirror, the bags under my eyes were prevalent, my acne was acting up, and my lanky body seemed so weak. The more I looked at myself, the more uncomfortable I felt, what a great way to start the school year. I put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

I opened up my bedside drawer to take a look at the old hunting knife that my dad gave me, the last gift he gave before he passed away. Having it nearby makes it feel like a part of him is still here and that gave me some comfort to take on the day.

I could smell the pancakes from the staircase and my stomach grumbled, anticipating the amazing meal that is waiting for me, "Smells good, mom."

"Thanks, honey. It will be finished in a minute." I had clear up some business papers lying around on the table from her day job, it amazed me how she can provide me with so much on her own. She handed me a stack of pancakes, "Eat up, honey. You don't want to miss the bus."

I quickly finished my breakfast and walked to the door to make the dreadful journey to school but mom stopped me, just as I got to the door, "Honey, wait." She handed me a lunchbox with a sandwich and an apple inside, a gesture that most teens would find childish and uncool but I found it endearing, "Something to eat if you don't like anything in the cafeteria."