A LETTER TO MY TAURUS CRUSH

Dear friend,

We kickstarted our friendship ordinarily. Things did not go smoothly in this ship. A few times or maybe, none of the time I am on top of your friend list. Countless times of my disappearance you never noticed. 

I am sorry for my attitude in the midst of broken relationship with my past; blockage of the betterment of our friendship. Though your feelings for me were so close to hate, your kindness never stops you to fight alongside with me for everything.

Our heart was never touched by each other, our souls were quiet despite seeing each other every day.

We are always on the same page of understanding, same line of interest, we laugh together and in the same group of friends, but we could never be I-see-you-and-got-excited friend. You were never the one in the group who ask me for outing.

Notice or not? We never initiate a single topic with each other besides work. We never smile when we say hi.

Two years later, I fixed the broken part of me, finally functioning properly. Sadly, too late for you to see the real me. Backing it up with you never noticed me. I've never try to do anything because I am used to it as a friend who have such little priority.

One day, our friends pursuing their own directions. Leaving the both of us behind. We have no choice but to talk, to share, to spend time, to be there for each other. I was never impress by you.

Until the day...

You picked up my heavy items and walked away silently.

You invited me, we did community service together.

You talked to me straight and even called me, when you face issue.

You willing to spend your precious time to go somewhere to do anything with me.

You told me what you like.

You told me what happened yesterday and what will you be doing tomorrow.

Our souls are awakened, our heart starts to connect. We are comfortable. In denial, I am falling for your beautiful soul, for who you are. Impossible we can be lover, but why not friends forever?

To tighten our knot of friendship, I start reading about Taurus...

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Now my dear crush,

When you were still my friend, people told me that you will never me the suitable one for me. I thought the same too. Time proves all of us wrong though.

You are the one I have been seeking for. The one I will risk and walk on the tightrope with.

With a click into Google, typing in a few words into the search bar. I discovered...

Why did you start paying for me so often; Why have I been visiting your place so often; Why did you give out an unexplainable laugh when our friend tease us; Why you stopped avoiding my touch like how you used to; Why you did so many things for me without my request; Why did you tell me that you love collecting keychains; Why did your words, text, action and body language are so contradicting; Why did you offer to drive me with my car in this foreign land for you and a home for me which you have never wanted drive in the past two years; And the reason behind all the silent eye contact.

When I thought all these were real friendship, it turns out to be the sign of love. 

My research had turned my world upside down. I decided to go for it.

I did, and my heart starts to break recently. Nobody's fault. It is just me who is too weak to handle you, a Taurus.

Our friends are back, our time together are getting lesser. Attention from you to me are getting so little, perhaps it is just me who is demanding more attention from you. Losing your attention totally is my biggest fear.

I used to spend time reminiscing good times we spent together. Now, I spend more and more time explaining to myself about the changes happening between us.

I hold myself back from texting you because I read about "Taurus spend less time texting and more time on action" and "Taurus could spend whole day thinking of one person but won't text them". Those are quite comforting sometimes.

Two more days until you head back to your home land. Leaving me hanging for 2 weeks until I see you again. Who knows what happened two weeks later. I wish to see you now and talk to you the way we were for one last time.

God knows why I am awake at 3 a.m. writing about you on Wattpad. God knows why my phone Wi-Fi is still on. God knows why the first thing I do is to turn on my phone Wi-Fi when I wake up. God knows why I drive miles to college during my summer break.

4 more months until the day we could still see each on daily basis ends. 4 more months until you complete your studies and return to your home country. Although we are neighbouring nation. Let's make this coming months the best month for us.

I'm scare... My emotions might ruin everything. I will hold back for the sake of you and us.

Safeflight on Monday! See you soon, my dear friend!Thank you for everything! :')               

Sincerely,

That annoying Gemini