everyday

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I was in class and everything got silent for a second.
Everyone was thinking about their plans for the day,
and I bet everyone was thinking about the person they started to like or the person they can’t stand. 
Everyone was thinking about a movie or a book, 
about the ocean or the sunset. 
They were thinking about their life. 

And I was too. 
But not in the way everyone expect me to. 
I was thinking about some pills that I could use to end my life, 
I was thinking about something sharp that could make me feel alive, 
and I was thinking about how I really want to die. 
I was thinking about how everything that I ruined just by touching
seems to come back 
and ruin me too.

But the second passed, 
the minute passed, 
the class passed,
and the week passed.
The only thing that didn’t passed, 
was my pain.

- something that I wrote a while ago.

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