Luce.

stranger in moscow

who was it? a man? a woman? an illusion? who knows, what was someone doing at the bottom of a cliff.. and how did they catch me? it's not physically possible for me to survive that. i'm here lay in my bed as if it was a figment of
my imagination.. it all feels so surreal now. i'm staring at the ceiling and thoughts swarm in my mind like a heard of bees. every thought is a string from a bee, and then suddenly but all at once, they fall to the ground. dead. as none of my predictions give a satisfactory answer. who was it? was it even real? did i even leave my bed this morning? i check the time. 3:45pm. no. it definitely happened. i'm not crazy. maybe high of depression medication. but not crazy. the ceiling is figuratively closing in but it feels so literal. i caught a glimpse of their appearance. but it could easily me morphed together by what my mind wants to remember. i remember dark hair. i remember pale skin. i remember a look in their eyes, it was...almost relieving. watching them embrace my falling suicidal body. almost as if i never wanted to die in the first place. but who was this stranger in the moscow? could this be explained? i don't know. i never will. i'll probably never see them again.. if i ever sad them in the first place.

i close my eyes and attempt to push away the thoughts the best i can. my mother doesn't even know i'm home, does she? did they carry me home? did they explain to my mother what i attempted? what i was committed to? did she break down and cry? am i a more worse human now that i tried to die? do i want to know the answers to these questions? i turn my bedside lamp off and sit in the dark, the dull sky seeping through my slightly open curtains, begging to bring light to my midnight bedroom, but don't you see, sky? you're so dark and so dull yourself, attempt not to bring light to a life when you're so forsaken yourself.

time passes, my heart aches but i refuse to open my eyes and perceive reality, time is merely an illusion and i stand by that fact with every aching bone in my body. a cold breeze grazes my limp self, no, i refuse to open my eyes just now. i can't bear the darkness that i will have to bring myself to live in eventually. i can feel eyes on me.. please mother, not now, i love you so much but i can't bear to see your innocently confused expression, or whatever expression you may or may not have apon your face at this moment. i can feel the warmth of someone's presence near my bed, it's almost soothing, as if an angel is watching over my body.

"open your eyes."

confusion and almost fear strikes to my mind, a husky voice speaks those words all of a sudden, no mother of mine. a deep, male voice. could it be? my saviour? my conscience? my guardian angel? who is this stranger in the dark of my room, hollowing over my aching mind and hopeless body. i open my eyes. him. them. it. i recall their face almost instantly, the pale, dark haired man who embraced my falling self and saved me from dying. i examined their face... he's.. young. almost a teenager, a young man. deep brown hair and pale, restless face. deep, bewildering eyes, almost brown.. yet so green. he's doing it too, he's examining me, i see his eyes moving, watching me. i'm almost too lost of words to speak words. do i ask who he is? will he tell me? is he yet a figment of my depressed illusion? dare i say a single word to my saviour?

"who are you?" i finally let escape my mouth, that was far from the only question i wanted to ask. i wanted to know it all, who he was, how he saved me, what his intentions were, what he's doing here, what does he want in return? is he another bystander you pass in the crowded streets?.. is he something more?

i watch him inhale gently, not removing his eyes from me, i'm not convinced he blinked since i opened my eyes, he's almost...angelic. his doe eyes and gentle pout.. how did he know where i lived? has he been here the whole time? does my mother know anything about this? i don't know what to expect.. he's so mysterious, but so intriguing.. what do i-

"i'm Luce."