Since That Day (Cryaotic Fanfic)

Chapter One: When I was young

***Chapter one: When I was young***

A long time ago, I had a best friend. His name was Ryan Terry. He had kind eyes, a soft voice, and a radiant personality. He was humble and he was a very unobtrusive boy with an amazing sense of humor. He never left my side and I always felt so comfortable around him...like he was the only person who understood me.

We first met in kindergarden. It was simple, I sat next to Ryan In class on my first day. we talked....and talked...and talked and had the craziest conversations. He rode next to me on the bus, got off at my stop, walked me home, stood with me holding an umbrella under my head on rainy days, took care of me when I was sick, and always made me happy. It was like this all my school years. We were neighbors and since we never moved to other states or cities...we had the advantage of always going to the same school together.

I got bullied a lot. For my looks. I had very short hair that looked like a boys hair cut. Ryan had longer, thicker, shaggier hair then me. I also had big ears that didn't fit with my small head, and my skin was pale, so it looked like all life had been sucked out of my very skin. After school I didn't feel like going inside. I had tears running down my checks and didn't want my parents complaining to the school about it so I waiting for me to get my crap together and stop crying. Ryan came and
Sat with me while I cried on my porch. Ryan told me I was beautiful then wiped my tears away. Ryan always let me lay on his shoulder without complaining that I was "touching him!" Like other boys did at school.

When Ryan said I was beautiful though, I knew he was lying. He didn't understand what it felt like to be called "zombie" and "dumbo" at school. In fact, everyone loved him, he was kind and had a lot of charisma. He was also very attractive. Ryan had chocolate brown hair that was always messy and somewhat curly. He had Carmel skin with bright blue eyes. But, just recently He started wearing big black nerdy glasses. It looked good on him actually, it just made him more lovable and his blue eyes stood out even more.

Ryan and I went to the same elementary school, middle school, and high school.
However, in high school, I could slowly start to feel our friendship fade away. He was no longer a reticent person or a calm person, he had become an outgoing and crazy guy that had perfect suavity which made Everyone want to hang around him. Also Ryan was funny, he had the whole package. So...just as I feared...He got a girlfriend. Her name was Cheyenne. They were practically inseparable and were always romantic around each other. But every time I saw them kissing, hugging, or the usual PDA, I just looked at how Ryan and Cheyenne acted around each other. I didn't want to be jealous but, I was. Cheyenne had long beautiful hair that Ryan loved to play with, colorful eyes,(unlike mine that were dull and grey) She had a tan, beautiful clothing...which was just what every other girl wore, and most of all she had a beautiful smile. I couldn't smile. I never wanted to show my teeth, so I just gave everyone one of those...half smiles with my mouth shut.
But, whenever I saw them together, I just kept on thinking: " I know Ryan way more better than her, he's told me everything about him, and HE called ME Beautiful!"

That's when I decided it was over. I kept thinking about all the times he called me beautiful...or hugged me without being embarrassed, and did all those things for me. then to see him not even give a shit about me!? it just Made my eyes tear up and my heart swell up... but, not in the good way. It kinda felt as if my heart was encased in ice and it was slowly wilting away whenever I saw his face.
It hurt
A lot, even though he technically did nothing to me, I still wanted to punch him. The only time I saw him was in the hallways where he would only smile at me and say "hi" and didn't put any effort into talking with me. Then he just goes on with his day like I was just another one of those outcasts that didn't deserve his time. That was it.

I sat on my porch alone. Crying. I didn't ever see Ryan ride his bike pass my house like before or even come out on his porch and wave at me. I just saw him Drive past my house with his new car, his "friends" in the back, the rap music turned up and his girlfriend next to him.

Believe it or not, I loved him. More than anything in the world! I didn't speak to him anymore...I know...but I had to do something, Even if it ended our friendship or bounded us more. I just wanted him to know what he was doing to me.
So the next day at school, I saw him at his table in the cafeteria with all his friends.
I thought to myself that it would be the perfect moment for me to say something. Then I remembered. What pissed me off the most when I saw him with all his friends. It was the fact that the people he hung out with, were the people that bullied me in middle school. I could try to go sit next to him or talk to him but I would get laughed at. I wasn't like the pretty girls. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because of how ugly I was. I looked like a lanky and pale boy. Maybe this is why Ryan ignored me!? He didn't want to be seen with a "She-man" That fucker!
I couldn't take it...I ignored everything! And walked right up to the table, looked Ryan straight in the eyes, and then, just as I felt frozen and desperately longing of the right words to say.

I made the worst decision of my life.