Don't Go Before I Do

Richard

I heard someone pounding on the door. I opened it to find Schneider carrying Paul. "Schneider, is Heiko hurt?"

"Who?"

"I am sorry. I ment is Paul hurt?"

"No, he cried himself to sleep."

Schneider put him in bed and showed me Paul's camera. I saw the selfie. "He said this was were he was the day you lost each other."

"Heiko, is right. I mean Paul is right."

"What is with you calling him Heiko."

"You know I am not sure."

"He loves you and just wants you back."

"Really."

Schneider left and I went to the store and got Paul a few things. I hoped he would like it. I walked into the bedroom and walked over to Paul. I noticed something wasn't right. I then tried to shake him. He didn't respond. I put my head on his chest and he was still breathing.

I called for help. I hoped he would be ok. When help came I went with them. I wish I would have been nicer to him.

I found his appendix burst. They hope they caught it. Then they found something wrong with his gull bladder and had to remove that too. He was really sick.

A doctor told me I could see him. I walked into the room. I was mad at myself. I sat next to him and I picked up his hand. I held his in both of mine.

"Heiko, I am so sorry. Please hang on. I love you and life without you hurts."

I kissed him. I know he had no idea what was going on. I still didn't know how I felt about the blue hair.

I got a phone call that I didn't want to hear. Paul's test all came back. He had cancer. They hoped they caught it. I told them to treat him for it. It turned out his gull bladder had cancer. I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. I was crying. I heard my door open. I didn't look up.

"Richard, as you know I am to check on you."

"Till, not now. I have enough to deal with."

"What is wrong?"

"Paul."

I told him and he looked sad. There was another knock at the door. Till answered it. This time it was Schneider.

"Why, is everyone so sad?"

I told him. They went with me to see Paul. They were sad. When they left I stayed for a while. Someone had a radio on. I heard the song Don't Die Before I Do.

Strange when Paul didn't know I was listening to his guitar playing lately. He had been playing this song. I had wondered why.

I picked up his hand in both mine and cried. "Heiko, I feel this is all my fault. If you don't like me I understand. I wouldn't like me either. I do care."