Hypocrite, In My Own Eyes

I am a hypocrite

because I tell my friends

to love themselves

in spite of whatever figure their body is classified as

because they're beautiful regardless

and here I am, skipping meals

because I'm afraid of gaining back

the weight I've lost

from doing this before

but, it's not so bad, I say

because, relatively, it's not bad

but bad isn't relative

I don't think it's right

that I tell them to stop hurting themselves

as I run a knife slowly across my wrist because I don't want to think things through any more

I blame myself

and I think I'm at fault

and i know I'm wrong

but I just feel

like a hypocrite