Confessions of a Teenage Fangirl

Fangirl: noun

Meaning:

A rabid breed of human female who is obesessed with either an actor/band/singer or fictional character. Similar to the breed of fanboy. Fangirls congregate on Instagram and or twitter. Have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obesessions.

Example:

You and Colton Haynes at a meet and greet.

You:OMG I CAN'T EVEN EEEEK 😍😍

*grabs Colton's leg*

Colton: um can you please let go?

You: NO,NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT AND AGREE TO MARRY ME!

Colton: Security!

You're probably thinking that's a little far fetched..but you know..it's not like it's happened to me before...it hasn't...to Colton Haynes..it was actually Zac Efron. But Colton is still my husband.

Anyways...this is a story of how I nearly died..not really haha anyways.

"Tayla? Sweetie? Time to get up for school"

Ughhhh I hate going to school, everyone think that they're so cool and they're not even in a fandom! Those girls are messed up and the boys call me "stalker girl" seriously? You find Brad Miller's address and then suddenly you're a "stalker"

I didn't even do anything creepy, I just watched him walk home every day...it's not weird! Peeta did that to Katniss, so it's acceptable, except we're not in district 12 and I'm not Josh McGorgeous Hutcherson..but still..it's acceptable.

At school I didn't really have friends except Mr Gordon, he was the school's councilor.

Okay, He's not really a friend, but he's hella cute...and he's here for community service...and he's single!! *McFly's "This is Love"*

So, we were in English when my jerk of a teacher Miss Cameron, (yep she's single, not a surprise look at her name it's for a boy! And she's not really the prettiest flower in the garden if ya know what I mean 😉)

But for now, let's call her Cruella Devil, get it? Because she's an evil soul sucking evil witch! Did I mention she was evil, she is tryin' to take my man away from me.

Cruella: Class

Ugh she's so rude she won't even address us by our names! Talk about selfish..anyways

Cruella: I want you write an essay

And she wants me to write, when I could be finding Colton McCutness Hanyes!! Oh she's low

Cruella: you have to mention a ladder

Okay, um what? It's bad enough that she's depriving me from finding my husband, then she makes me write, ABOUT A FLIPPING LADDER!! Who am I? Old McDonald?

No! I'm unofficially Tayla Haynes! I love saying that, Tayla Hanes, Tayla Haynes, Tayla Haynes. It's got a nice ring to it don't you think?

I couldn't stay I'm this hell whole any longer I had to get out of here, so, I pulled out the old "I've got a really bad 'Stomach ache'" *disclaimer* if you're a boy and or under the age of 12 you should out down your ipad/phone/iPod or whatever device you're on because a stomach ache doesn't mean stomach ache. Sorry for the inconvenience.

it's so delicious..you get out of anything when you say that!

Trust me, I know

*disclamer* do not use this excuse if you're a boy and or under the age of 12

Oh no! There is a flaw in my plan, Cruella is on sick bay duty...it's okay I can sell it I

If not, I can poor some water on her...witches melt when water is poured on them Right?

Cruella: Why Hello Tayla, what are you doing here?

Tayla Haynes: Miss, I've got a STOMACH ACHE...

Cruella: mhmm this is the 4th one you've had this week

Tayla Haynes: it's only Thursday miss, please, let me leave

*disclamer* if you're squeamish you should skip this part*

Tayla Haynes: or my ovaries will explode on you and you will be covered in my lady juice! Because that's what my ovaries are doing right now, and they are pushing!

That must change her mind..and if she doesn't she truly is a witch